A four year-old wants to answer “a person of integrity”? Really? FFS, it tells me what the kid is interested in. It leads to other questions. “What problems do you want to solve, Billy? I know you’re only six, but is it global warming? Is that it?” I think the first problem is that someone would think I care what the…

Based on the access road by the freeway that I travel everyday, one simply dumps the old mattress on the side of the road...

As a white guy, I agree with his comment: I’ve seen it, too. I like seeing the world properly represented in film. I worry that it will be temporary. However, if the money keeps coming in for diverse films, then they studios will follow that money trail.

I had a five quart for making marshmallows (yes, it’s possible to make marshmallows and they are amazing and SO much different from the store-bought “puff’d” things). It broke, so I had to use my hand mixer... tripled the amount of time... then I bought a six-quart... and it cut the original time in half! When you’re…

I was talking to my parents when I was a kid (7 or 8) and in the middle of me talking, my dad turned to my mom and said, “He certainly likes to talk a lot.” To this day, I continually call friends the next day and apologize for “talking too much.” I’m not sure if I’m doing it, but I don’t want them thinking I’m…

Who gives a shit what the barista thinks? Look, I’m a nice, considerate person and I don’t treat people like shit—particularly those in the service industry. I really don’t care if they’re going to judge me, just make it right... and spell my name correctly.   

My parents had a different approach: “I know you want to stay longer... now get in the goddamned car!” It was marvelously effective. As for the inevitable tantrums? “I’ll give you something to cry about.” Sure, we pouted for a half hour, but soon forgot about it.

Also effective: yelling at me, with a cocktail in one…

I’ve saved up six months worth of sick time. I take a day off here and there when I’m sick, but I’m lucky I haven’t gotten anything too bad in a while, so I keep accruing sick time. If I leave, I can’t take it with me... :-(

That said, if I get a major illness where I have to go on medical leave, my sick time fills in…

My stock portfolio is pretty diverse. I don’t pay much attention to the market as I know—eventually—the market will come back. That said, it’s been a scary few months watching my portfolio drop over $100k and taking all of last year’s gains... and then some.

My 401k is pretty aggressive, so that took an even bigger…

This actually makes me very happy. I usually type things like “Are you fucking serious? I just answered that you tool” and then back off. I’m glad they see what I’m thinking. In fact, I will now use this even more...

Sometimes you don’t have an option of where to go and it’s nice to make an informed decision on getting an item that is lower in fact, lower in calories, or lower in carbs. When I was on Weight Watchers there were sites that gave information on what the point values of foods were at fast food joints. I could go to to…

“This service is currently unavailable.”  You crashed USPS! :-D

Or you can just get older... after my mid-40's, it’s taken me forever to nut. Same with the guys I’m with who are my age. Come on, already... literally.

“...because Pepsi is a garbage beverage.” I love you. 

I find, with most boxed recipes, that if you add a little almond extract, or some really good vanilla extract, people will say, “Oh, you can tell this is from scratch!” 

How do you get them out of there? Do you need a thinner spatula? I like the crusty edge idea, I just hate trying to get them out.

The thing to remember is: Red wine lasts a long time, if maintained properly. White wine and champagne do not. So drink them up.

I’ve gotten into making vinegar, so nothing goes to waste in my house... 

I’ve never been in a threesome that was planned. They just sort of... happened. I can’t say I’m a fan. Someone is always left out. My first threesome (not that there were that many), I fell off the bed and the other two continued without me like I wasn’t even there... it was my bed!

A chef friend said he didn’t mind when someone would order a steak well done: he could get rid of old meat that way. He was going to have to throw it out... so he was fine with well done: they’d never notice.

Scared the living crap out of me with that.

We can’t get the police to come when there’s a robbery, but they’re going to come out for this? Seriously? What is wrong with white women? They have too much time on their hands. They need to go help at a soup kitchen...