You wanna know how to succeed in life? Quit giving people the satisfaction of your reaction. Treat everyone you meet with kindness no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Be the bigger person. People are going to be assholes and there is not one single solitary thing you can do about it except for controlling yourself…

I just thought of the best nickname for Noah Syndergaard. Here are my thoughts on how I arrived at it. Syndergaard’s parents, as we all know, met at a sommelier themed YMCA dance in 1981. Barnardulous Syndergaard VII (Noah’s dad) only heard about this dance because his friend Dickschmap Washinghair had seen a flier…

he’s like 14 feet tall. like this kid here

Leave Terry Bradshaw out of this.

I’m not 100% sure that isn’t Nathan Fielder.

Eating a handful of mushrooms and drinking a couple of beers while watching space jam isn’t the worst way to spend an afternoon

“You know, I killed Nicole Simpson. That’s right, cut her head clean off! Gutted her boyfriend like a pig, too. Just part of my job for the league at the time. It’s ok, don’t worry, no one will ever believe you.”

Let’s be fair. The Warriors have lost 9 regular season games this year, too.

We can tell because you don’t seem to have any idea how appeals courts function.

The Aristocrats!

I mean, its not the craziest thing to believe in. People think there is some mystical omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent being, meddling in human day to day activities, keeping a roll call of people and their transgressions that is floating in a realm that may or may not be in the clouds or another dimension...

That’s the worst name I ever heard.

I still can’t believe they’ve relegated Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo to a one-batter lefty specialist.

Think his quote is disturbing? I just saw this pic on SFGate.

“Luke was on a road trip with his baseball team and needed a charger for his laptop. You’ll never guess what happened next.”

Bench her for being a dick?

Can we make this a series of Vin Scully takes; weekly, daily from current from the past i don’t care i need this in my life.

Earlier this week, during a Arizona/Los Angeles game on the MLB network, Vin explained why the foul pole has the netting. Apparently it all stems from a particular game at the Polo Grounds in the 1930s. A GAME VIN SCULLY WAS AT.

I used to work for the Royals ad agency writing TV and radio spots. We referred to every team by their mascot except for Cleveland. The organization refused to use the term “Indian” whatsoever. Apparently their front office isn’t alone on that, so I’m sure it shuffles over to the NFL to a degree.