Make me bitch

I hope you don’t actually believe any of what you just wrote.

Someone help, I’ve been destroyed by cold logic

Don’t be ridiculous; everyone knows history began with the 2016 primary season.

Psst, the constitution is real bad and was never good.

This is approaching dangerously normal.

Do you not remember what happened to welfare under Bill Clinton in the 90s? In what possible world can it be said that Democrats have not been instrumental in the systematic dismantling of the social safety net?

The coolest part is that “Bernie bro” started as a smear her campaign invented out of whole cloth before pitching it to sympathetic writers who repeated it so much that people started to believe it ever meant anything in the first place.

Only Donald Trump was less liked than Hillary and he campaigned in Wisconsin, Ohio, and Pennsylvania in the weeks leading up to the election. (Hillary didn’t.) That’s some interesting shit.

;)

Who knows, maybe he could even warg into like an ice dragon or something.

“Hey, we know that looked like it was sloppy writing, but it’s only because we had to cut some bad writing that just couldn’t fit.”

Fuck you, idiot.

How long before even Republicans have to say “Alright, his brain is clearly just a bunch of cobwebs and old issues of TV Guide”?

Gotta love the type of person who sees something fairly out of the ordinary and uses it as an opportunity to go full-bore apocalyptic.

I suppose this means that you can do that on television after all.

Here’s my theory: We all died in some kind of mass extinction event or something a little while ago, and we’re basically just living the series finale of Lost but somehow incomparably worse. We’re all dead and experiencing a bewildering, terrible afterlife where the worst imaginable person is the president and he is…

I think on some level everybody who’s seen it can agree: Fuck this movie.

This headline perfectly captures why I can’t bring myself to care about Taylor Swift.

At the risk of sounding conspiratorial, they’ll accept the losses to property and productivity because they’re a way of getting rid of an enormous swathe of the world’s population at the same time.