Great Pyrenees are some of the friendliest, calmest dogs I have ever met.

Like almost every bridge in this country, it needs some work. As for the taxes, I'm not an accountant so let's just say there are no taxes.

Guy gets arrested at a Maiden concert and we're just supposed to think they had nothing to do with it? If you believe that, I got a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.

He can't help it; he's just a greasy fella.

"Your honor, after diligent efforts we are unable to empanel an impartial jury. But you see, my client is very rich and would like to grab a bite to eat for dinner—"
"Very well, counsel, your client is free to go."

Boycotting Maiden now for being a gang of fucking narcs.

When are we going to discover the "Still-has-at-least-70%-of-its-hair-in-its-mid-30s fox" so we have a good descriptor for people like me?

My dude looks like he's about 15 years and half a head of hair away from looking like Woody Harrelson.

It's beginning to seem like this thing that we all believed was somehow significant is in fact little more than garden-variety method horseshit from a method actor famous for his horseshit.

Love to panic about Russia 24/7 like it's the Reagan era.

I mean, nothing can be terribly great as long as it involves Florida.

Crazy good bands on the bill for most of those shows. Catch them if they stop close to you and you're even a little curious. There is nothing like having everything in your field of vision get fuzzy around the edges because you're standing in front of something that's about as loud as a jet.

Hangups about "moist" are mostly a stupid affectation and everyone knows it.

That's a good way to say "everything is an accelerating, kaleidoscopic nightmare."

I'm not sure I can distinguish between the internet and anything else at this point.

This checks out.

The dogs know what it is.

Kind of seems like the opposite. [dog pun]

I would probably get pissed if you made out with my dog.

Quite literally, no; in my oeuvre, Dinner Dog and Disgruntled Goat were in a relationship that ended badly due to DG's drinking problem.