I am not sure what that is but I am sure it is very homosexual.

I was sobbing in a rented yacht bathroom earlier.

NNNNGGG!!! GOVERNMENT ROLE [in protecting sancity of traditional marriage]!!!!

LEAVE POOR MR. MERRICK ALONE!!!

I'm so proud of myself for recognizing the Cantona quote.

She must have been found being gay. Luckily, the jails in Sochi aren't done yet either.

I do not find Mia Farrow's graphic illustration of the destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter to be as shocking as the actual destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter.

"WHEN YOU TRY ME ON A SLIPPERY OLD CEDAR FROM A CRAP TREE, THAT'S THE RESULT YOU'RE GONNA GET."

-The Leg Jump

"In the Ekaterininsky Kvartal hotel, the elevator is broken and the stairway is unlit, with stairs of varying and unpredictable heights." I don't know why this tickles me so much. I guess it's just that when it comes to stairs, having them unlit and at random heights is like breaking the social contract on what it…

Mike Vick's trash talk was much more pointed during his Falcons days.

The good news is that this is just a case of lost in translation and that it was actually Russian hockey player Alexander Semin on the bed. The bad news, he pooed all over the sheets.

Just ask Ukrainians about Dangerous Russian Face Water.

You've been chosen to represent your country at the Winter Olympics in Sochi. But first, you have to take a hellacious dump. Choice: Do you flush the toilet paper? (go to page 2) Or: Do you place the toilet paper in the bin? (go to page 3)

Meanwhile, upstate in Tampa, the Bucs text about pus a lot.

My girlfriend used the same trick to sneak into my house permanently.

Who knew Buster was a truther?

Apparently. BOOZE!!! (Shakes fist uncontrollably at the heavens)

I have to admit that I would have been laughing my ass off too.

If that Venn diagram isn't a perfect circle I'll look more surprised than Peyton on the opening play.