I’d take death by firing squad, honestly. Four bullets (and one blank) straight to the heart? Works for me.

We actually treat sick and old animals much better. Because pharma companies are cool with selling effective euthanasia drugs to veterinarians, the animals almost always die instantly with no pain whatsoever. Human victims of state-sanctioned murder often experience excruciating pain because no pharma company wants to…

RIGHT? This asshole president is going to straight up kill me if he passes his health care policy. DEAD.

People think I’m joking when I say the IRS has by far the nicest collections people I’ve dealt with. They don’t do any of the bullying, shaming or “don’t you have a family member who can help?” bullshit. It’s a shame “the tax man” has such a bad rep, they really are reasonable.

It seems that they must’ve not filed tax returns and then failed to pay even after a million warnings.

Your weekend project: watch “The Wine Show” on Hulu. It’s basically Matthews Rhys and Goode hanging out in a Tuscan villa, drinking lots of wine, and acting adorably drunk. It is, quite possibly, the greatest show of all time. Okay, after “The Americans”.

Easily the most under-appreciated, under-watched Peak TV type show she never we started saying things like Peak TV. It’s so good in every possible way

How much do you love this show? It’s so damn good!

I used to be a Meyer stan. Willingly went to his concert—I NEVER go to concerts. But then he said “David Duke Dick” and my black ass threw his CDs in the trash and never looked back.

Everyone should be aware of the dangers posed by John Mayer. After all, there’s no way of knowing who he might date next (well, other than the fact she’s probably white)!

These are the big hits:

No man who still has his hair even *mentions* the fact that he still has his hair.

She’s getting paid, but isn’t allowed to perform the functions of her job. Sounds perfect to me!

Holocaust centers.

Right? I’m a doctor. I’m the only specialist of my kind at my hospital. If I don’t show up, 40-50 cancer patients don’t get treated. No joke. I would have panicked if they told me I wasn’t getting home for my shift.

Ditto. They’re clearly more empathetic and accepting of others despite their differences, for starters.

I think a few other people have explained the obvious answer to that already. Also, the article states they jumped to protect her from the “threat” of the authorities who tried to take her. Sounds like they were doing a hell of a lot better of a job than her own biological family did.

Just more proof that animals are better people than humans.

Details: I live about a mile and a half from the Canadian border where they probably made their wrong turn to Niagara Falls, which originally set off the judgement against him. You have to go over a bridge. There are signs everywhere that say “BRIDGE TO CANADA” or literally showing you where to exit before the…