Hmmmm, self-congratulatory adult writes script wherein boring nerd tests ecstasy for purity and does unremarkable activities with perfectly nice and like-minded peers. Who wouldn’t want to watch the fuck out of that?

Call me stupid all you want, but I think hanging out, unkempt pit hair is gross on both men AND women. Trim it up, keep the deodorant chunks out of it and don’t hug me with your hairy ass pits touching my shoulder. I’m not brainwashed by media, I simply don’t like the idea of pit hair falling in my sandwich.…

Well, women possessing incredible beauty also have magic powers to ride wild stallions and make grown men do their bidding without question, so I’ve learned from every man talking about any woman in an Andrews book ever. P.s. just kindled the second Christopher diary. This shit is terrible. Kristin, the beautiful girl…

Omfg. I spent 5 minutes on your blog and in awe! Can’t decide if I want to continue slogging through Christopher’s dumb diary or hole up and read your awesome insights.

I need to see this blog!

Excellent observations. I wish I wasn’t typing on my phone so I could post something insightful. I LOVE Troy, even with his brooding. I also have a terrible crush on Luke even though he was rapey and sold his kids and ha gave Sarah an std that made her have a freak baby. Before he was awful, he was seriously…

I had to kindle the Christopher book last night. His diary is...meh. No incest yet and too much of this Kristin chick. It has NO gothic flair. Agreed that troy ended it by charging out into the ocean on Abdulla Bar, the wild horse. I think that’s the horses name. I’ll let you know if this Christopher series gets…

Love the name, nicely done.

Stop slut-shaming. These things happen when you get locked in an attic with your hot brother.

No, you need to invest in the vintage ones with the peekaboo covers. That’s part of the thrill.

So much truth here except I think MSA is weak—your Andrews game is spot on. Your thorough analysis is making me rethink Audrina, so I guess I’ll do a refresher read to see if I find her as awesome as the others.

YAS. I hate it when people dismiss her work as smut. It’s post-modern gothic and it’s genius.

They are even better as an adult, because you are no longer shocked by the salaciousness and start thinking up great literary theories about Andrews body of work. FITA and Heaven are must reads for all well-rounded people.

Buy them, forget about the library. Every person on earth needs to have a quality selection of the greatest novels ever.

I loved crazy Kitty and her Hillbilly Scum schtick. And all her ceramic pottery that Heaven has to dust. Remember when Heaven humped the pillow to make her mad? Or when Heaven humped her husband Cal? And how Heaven loved Sound of Music?

I own all the Andrews and MSA is one that I can never get back into. Unlike our other heroines, Audrina is just kind of an unlikeable weirdo. She never has moments where you’re like “yeah Audrina, you tell them what the fuck is up with things.” There’s a reason it’s a stand-alone and not a series. No one really likes…

Yeah, the last one of the Heaven series with Annie the cripple living at Tony Tatterton’s creep mansion has SO much potential to be better, but Annie had no fire like Cathy or Heaven. The parts where Jillian goes batshit and covers all her mirrors in that book is pretty good though. But you’re right, most of it was…

Yeah, Cathy spent a lot of time being weird in that book too. Like recreating the two beds from the attic and hiding food. The ending with her and Corinne being trapped by that creepy butler in the mansion basement to die was a little ridiculous. That Bart was a little asshole.

You’re correct, my bad. It was Jory because his name was a combo of Julian and Cory. Good catch. Seems you know your business, what was with Dr. Paul that Cathy married after Julian and his weird coma wife Julia who drowned their son? That guy was a creep.

Logan KILLED her drunk driving from slutty Frannie’s birthday party. I don’t know what she saw in him. But tortured Troy, in his poetic shirts making doll houses and shit...dayum. If loving him is wrong, I don’t want to be right.