Hmmmm, self-congratulatory adult writes script wherein boring nerd tests ecstasy for purity and does unremarkable activities with perfectly nice and like-minded peers. Who wouldn’t want to watch the fuck out of that?

Call me stupid all you want, but I think hanging out, unkempt pit hair is gross on both men AND women. Trim it up, keep the deodorant chunks out of it and don’t hug me with your hairy ass pits touching my shoulder. I’m not brainwashed by media, I simply don’t like the idea of pit hair falling in my sandwich.…

Honestly...she’s terrible and everything, but I’m really preoccupied with her skinny super long faux dreads hairstyle. Generally, white dreads are the gnarlies

I hate primer now. It’s too hard to correct mistakes or do a take-back if you over did something. Primer is for careful make-uper’s, not loose-y goosies.

Stop crying! That’s the only way to stop the falling off of your face. What brands have you been using? This has never been a problem for me unless I have allergies or am sweating profusely.

Try some Sephora glide on eyeliner. It’s more forgiving than liquid or that crap where you have to use a mini brush and POT of eyeliner. The glide on smudges very nicely and is easy to blend particularly if you are, as I am, not the steadiest of hands.

I love myself with statement glasses and a bold eye. I’m super fair and platinum blonde and my eyes can get lost in all that artifice if I don’t add more artifice. I’m sure I’m breaking some sort of rule, but goddamn if I will give up my black eye shadow.

Why did you need a Corgi? Not shaming, just wondering why this specific breed was a must have. I think Corgi’s are quite adorable and fine, but when I was in the position to get my current beast, it was more about the actual specific dog than the breed (which the humane society fucked up on anyways). I was dicked…

My parents love their dogs far more than me. It’s probably because they are more lovable or maybe have more things in common—it’s truly nothing personal.

You do you. I refer to myself as my dog’s mummy because I’m doing me and he’s my baby boy with black lips who loves mummy very much and especially enjoys my singing. I don’t need to put my baby in a cage to go out drinking, because mine knows how to jump up and sit on a barstool because his mums taught him how to act…

Acid is hard as fuck, remember that girl who turned into a glass of orange juice and died when she tipped over?

I am literally feeling challenged to bring drugs on a plane now. And snakes.

I used to actively hate read you Jia, but this is the third article that you’ve written where I feel like you are actually fucking awesome. As long as you can avoid “loling” in the comments at your readership or in response to any criticism, I’m picking up what you are putting down. I was hoping the comments section…

Yeah...I wasn’t paying enough attention to your myriad posts to notice any distinction other than the one I responded to. I didn’t realize there was just one verbose opinionated person rambling on about investment pieces. I’m clearly the idiot.

Sewing from scratch doesn’t make fiscal sense. Quality fabrics are not cheap and the labor involved in making something one could wear and look acceptable in a business setting is extensive. There’s a reason the introduction of ready to wear clothing is a feminist benchmark of great importance. It freed up women’s…

I was unaware of that group of guerilla feminists embedding themselves at the checkout in order to attack domesticity. You poor thing, it appears you would benefit from a nice pat on the back for making good financial planning decisions, unlike those suckers out there attacking you via microagression every day.

I’d have a very stern Russian ballerina come over every morning to wake me up and make me dance my tits off using shame as motivation for an hour and a half every day. Then I’d have a cook who specialized in down-home advice, hugs and butter prepare me some advice, give me a hug and cook me some buttery food and/or…

I never thought about it, but maybe I’m high. I enjoy the shit out of Miley without irony. I’m not going to defend it because I’m too busy having fun.

Love Nair. The smell is not the best, but it works great on thin wispy hair. My hair is so fine that shaving doesnt get rid of the fuzz and tweezing can’t capture the whisper hairs. Nair burns the shit out of spider web hair on your face and legs.

I flick my bean to Denis Leary. He’s so weathered and sexy. I love his fuck face.