If you think this was awkward for the producers at WRTV, imagine how awful this guy's fourteen-year-old son felt when he yelled, "It's my body! Stop telling me what to do, Dad!"

Welker is a generous guy and there's really no limit to what he's willing to part with. Money, his mental and physical well being, Super Bowl XLVI.

I am sorry I was cruel when I joked. I don't want to fight you. You and I, we are not so different. Please be my friend and I will love you with much kindness for all of my remaining days (eternity).

Biting is dangerous. People and mammals get rabies when infectious saliva is introduced into the body, usually through a bite from an infected animal.

I'm pretty sure humans over the age of 10 have said the words "holy shit" and "really" before, stupid.

None of these movies have Seth MacFarlane in them.

This is a warning sign, plain and simple. We all should have known something terrible was happening when Mike Rice insisted on coaching every Scarlet Knights practice to George Michael's "Father Figure." It's only a matter of time before the whisper gets a little too careless...

Nuts is a slang term for the human, male testicles.

Ice cream trucks are automobiles.

+1

These are men who have arms.

Will you go to prom with me? It'll be really awkward and I'm not even human plus I am only seven months old. Okay, thanks!

Yeah but does his mom think he's the most handsome boy in the world?

I've seen a lot of messed up stuff on the internet. I've seen dead bodies, Budd Dwyer's suicide video, and all varieties of graphic, horrifying pornography. But this is something else entirely. This is a truly reprehensible act. That kid is going to grow up to be a Padres fan and we're all powerless to stop it.

Who puts ham and cheese on their hot dog sandwich?

Does this statistical analysis map over to the more modern game, Shovel-Sandwich-CTRL-X?

"Typical Deadspin, bringing up the Duke Rape story every chance they get." - orionxl

Pot dramas are the best kinds of dramas because they usually end with someone being called black and someone else being lambasted for their racism on Twitter.

I don't think you get the joke; his Twitter handle is Teflon_Don9 and the number nine looks like the letter "G," and the word "dong" is a slang term for the male penis, and therefore he is asserting that nothing will stick to his human penis.

This is a good joke.