Nuts is a slang term for the human, male testicles.

Ice cream trucks are automobiles.

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These are men who have arms.

Will you go to prom with me? It'll be really awkward and I'm not even human plus I am only seven months old. Okay, thanks!

Yeah but does his mom think he's the most handsome boy in the world?

I've seen a lot of messed up stuff on the internet. I've seen dead bodies, Budd Dwyer's suicide video, and all varieties of graphic, horrifying pornography. But this is something else entirely. This is a truly reprehensible act. That kid is going to grow up to be a Padres fan and we're all powerless to stop it.

Who puts ham and cheese on their hot dog sandwich?

Does this statistical analysis map over to the more modern game, Shovel-Sandwich-CTRL-X?

"Typical Deadspin, bringing up the Duke Rape story every chance they get." - orionxl

Pot dramas are the best kinds of dramas because they usually end with someone being called black and someone else being lambasted for their racism on Twitter.

I don't think you get the joke; his Twitter handle is Teflon_Don9 and the number nine looks like the letter "G," and the word "dong" is a slang term for the male penis, and therefore he is asserting that nothing will stick to his human penis.

This is a good joke.

I know! I read this and said "how is this news?" and then I was like "who cares?" and then I thought "stick to sports," but thankfully, cooler heads prevailed, because all I really wanted to know was "how far can Will Gordon punt a football?"

It really seems like the media is at fault for this story blowing up. Sure, Roby should take responsibility for his actions. Still, we can't say with any certainty why he failed the field sobriety test. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he's really bad at reciting the alphabet. But I think I speak for everyone when I ask,…

The state flag of Rhode Island is white, and features a gold anchor in the center (a symbol for hope) and a blue ribbon beneath the anchor that bears the state motto, "Other Rhode Islanders are Assholes. Me? I'm not the problem. Fuck you. Everyone else should move." The flag is frequently depicted with gold fringe…

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This is serious discussion about the sanctity of the game and you're here making jokes?!??!?!?!?!? You should be ashamed.

Peter Wemali just wants to move forward with his career. This is a "freak accident kind of thing."

Cannot believe Jolie Kerr would support tomato soup after NAFTA. There is a trade war going on, Jolie. You think it's funny to write a well-written post/recipe about the joys of tomato soup!?!?!? I come here for serious discussion—how many Mexican farmers must die before Deadspin writes about the real issues? The…