"My detractors point to Curt Schilling and 38 Studios. They point to the high unemployment rate. To the terrible public schools. But since 1941, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations has avoided all sharknados, space rocks, geologic events, alien invasions, and monster attacks. Andrew Cuomo can't say…

It's easy to forget now that Stephen Davis was a hot commodity in 2003. He was in the middle of a National Science Foundation Affiliation where he worked on Linking Xylem Functional Traits to Life-History Type. Call me an agent apologist all you want—Weinberg was just doing his job. Professors like Stephen Davis come…

Sure, baseball players may look at you funny when you walk around shooting your mouth off about "advanced metrics" and "wanting to see a video of Gapper and Stomper tag-teaming Mrs. Met." But that doesn't mean you should stop. Officially-licensed mascot pornography is the wave of future. Ride the crest of the wave,…

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Is $297,200 enough to purchase a shirt with a top button?

I don't know who Lod is, but his everlasting love sounds very appealing. I hope it is everlasting metaphysical love. Everlasting physical love sounds good now, but after thirty-six minutes, many humans would succumb to exhaustion, and Lod would be no better than Darren Sharper.

Imagine Imagine Dragons Immolated.

"Do you feel you belong?"

If you could get out of grey, or when you get out of grey? I'm waiting...

Never forget again.

Agree, pending all of the above pee in a solo cup and each of them take a sip. It's only fair.

How long could a human plausibly live in captivity if he could only drink Sprite for sustenance? Asking for a friend...

I love you too, Mr. Incognito. Please don't shit in my mouth.

Griffey's eyes are the cold, dead eyes of a man who is on his 14th commenting system of the decade.

/fixed.

I identify with how Ronaldo felt. Thanks a lot, Kinja.

Does this mean that THE MENTALIST was the Daniel Bryan of Deadspin?

I've heard of incentive clauses, but if he can run and catch and make plays out there, who really cares what his ass looks like?

Great.

No spoiler alert, Barry? Some of us are still on America East regular episode 3.