If you could get out of grey, or when you get out of grey? I'm waiting...

Never forget again.

Agree, pending all of the above pee in a solo cup and each of them take a sip. It's only fair.

How long could a human plausibly live in captivity if he could only drink Sprite for sustenance? Asking for a friend...

I love you too, Mr. Incognito. Please don't shit in my mouth.

Griffey's eyes are the cold, dead eyes of a man who is on his 14th commenting system of the decade.

/fixed.

I identify with how Ronaldo felt. Thanks a lot, Kinja.

Does this mean that THE MENTALIST was the Daniel Bryan of Deadspin?

I've heard of incentive clauses, but if he can run and catch and make plays out there, who really cares what his ass looks like?

Great.

No spoiler alert, Barry? Some of us are still on America East regular episode 3.

I think I'm in love with Connor Barwin. How do I tell Tyrone?

How do you feel about sentient robots who ask questions? Follow up question, are you guys tired of Deadspin Q&As being used for shameless self-promotion?

.

I know that Tim Marchman did not make this list because Aaron Carter is not ranked #1 for vanquishing Shaquille O'Neal in his prime.

"That was just me stenting."

You want guitars? The new St. Vincent record has them. It is a musical record with effortless melody and vocal stylings. Don't be afraid of St. Vincent. She loves you.

Tim Marchman also listens to Creed because he knows that everyone hates Creed and that makes Tim Marchman love Creed.

Troll-Scout: Can't trust this guy. He's only seven inches tall. Terrible haircut. Doesn't wear a shirt. Never moves his arms or legs. Creepy smile and dead eyes.