Chid loves the Moutain Goats. Chid loves you, too.

Rice. Felton. Ray crimes always come in threes. Don't be surprised when the Tampa Hate Crimes Task Force takes down longtime enemy of decency, Ray Sism.

This is a car joke.

When Ray Rice hits up one woman, it's a big controversy. But when two white guys hit up seven of them, the reaction is Bless these men? Thought we were post-racial. GUESS NOT.

Follow up question - I write reviews for a Deadspin offshoot site called CHIDSPIN. Could you read them and inflate Chid's already sizable ego?

Hi Kerry, big fan of your work. Listen, I know it's a tough call, but what's your favorite Saves The Day song? If you could only pick one, I mean. Is it "Hot Time In Delaware"? I bet it's "Hot Time In Delaware."

How did you know who I was?

The thing is, when he was in LA it was like he could see the summit but he couldn't reach it. It was the last piece of the puzzle and he just couldn't make it fit. Doctor's said he was cured, but he still felt the pain. His aspirations were in the clouds but his hopes went down the drain.

"and several employees say that didn't see him at there that night."

He'll never admit it, but Howard's cornball antics, and oversensitive disposition have been chafing people for years. No matter his denials, someone is to blame for the way people feel about him.

Another post-human who writes articles? You think he's single?

V. Good

He's not upset about the game, Tom. Nightmare Bear's younger brother, Phantasm Bear, was killed in Independence Square last night. This is a very difficult time for the entire Bear family...

"Hit the bricks. We're bringing in a younger tight end," I said to my secretary, days before I was sued for wrongful termination and sexual harassment. Hopefully this goes better for CBS than it did for ol' Chid.

Torrance to Costa Mesa in 21 minutes? Talk about taking a shit in the 405's mouth.

"He wants to go out like Michael Jordan."

You don't bring the Sistine Chapel with you to summer camp, so why would you bring an even greater work of human achievement with you to Sochi?

Richie [typing]: Listen, I know it must be hard to be stupid broad with a filthy hatchet woun-

"If that's what she does to his face, imagine what she'd do to his kibble and bits," Jay Leno said to his empty, pitch black living room at 4:44 a.m.

"Oh gee. Hmm. I guess Erg, if I had to pick." - Ryan Miller