Slavery: “It’s the past, man. Can’t you just leave it there?”

You gave him the wrong choice!

“When young people see glamorous stars smoking and flouting the law, it undermines the progress that has been made in de-normalizing smoking and increasing awareness of smoking’s health risks.”

Smoking is gross. Indoor smoking is even more gross. Indoor smoking that ruins original art pieces and haute couture gowns people spent months making for these idiots is reprehensible.

I just love the Caitlyn/Kris stuff as it’s probably the first argument in a longtime where I know there’s no victim and I can laugh at the misery of both of them.

Well, at least this is the best incentive yet to ditch my Diet Coke habit. I want nothing, no matter how trivial, in common with this psychotic train wreck.

Pence only eats Mother’s pie.

So, my hillbilly cousins: Are we tired of this jackass yet? Do you still think he’s capable of making coal a thing again?

No one said he ate the salad. My bet is he just picked out the croutons slathered in dressing and ate those.

Ah Pence. Don’t want that chocolate cream pie stirring up your loins when Mother isn’t around.

Are we sure it wasn’t Russian dressing??

How is it possible that this motherfucker has THE WORST possible taste with everything. Literally everything. He’s a fucking caricature.

But remember, he’s the healthiest president ever!

Extra gravy and more ice cream. That’s how he keeps his waistline so svelte!

Nevertheless, he persisted.

How come he only hugged the girls? His wife must not be there....

I was hoping it was a girl, but then I was like, girls DO the apologizing in this world. Sad face.

Spicer: Mr. President, the Vice President hit the child of an American military family in the face with his elbow.

This kid’s MOTHER taught him well.