I know I should not eat thee...

Fun fact: That was actually first invented a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

You got that right friend, I like to warm em up by cranking up the heated seat and keeping a couple between the leather and my keister. 

My friends were dead set on seeing it!

If only you’d had some warning that the 2019 Lion King wasn’t worth seeing!

I’m going to be pedantic.

“Actually, I don’t. I just let the universal translator do its job.”

I don’t want to be Mr. Red!

He’s got to do Harry Mudd, right? It’s like he was born for it. I would also accept Cyrano Jones, but I’d be disappointed.

Bullshit, during gym class back in high school we’d play indoor soccer on occasion and the game would devolve into a glorified dodge ball match with the goalies hurling the ball at the opposing goal. It was great fun, but I don’t think the gym teacher was there to tell us whether that was against the rules or not...…

D&D taught me that people had so much free time in the middle ages that they invented over a dozen different polearms.

What if we already look old? Asking for a friend.

D&D taught me, at a young age, the meaning of words like charisma, dexterity, and THAC0, all of which I use in my daily life even now. 

It looked like the time eaters preferred to eat the suffering time of their victims. They took David to his imprisoned mother and Syd to her younger self. They only attacked them at their most sad/upset moment on the encounter.

That guy is exactly how I imagined a guy who would do this kind of thing looks like.

I had seven wings and eleven potato wedges. Where’s my AV Club coverage? Bring Pepto.

This sounds solid.

If you’ve been watching along with me, then you may be asking: after my numerous complaints regarding the anachronistic and unbelievable-in-southern-Indiana Starcourt Mall, was I gratified to see that it is indeed a massive front for Russian intelligence gathering?

Yes. Very much so.

But that’s clearly not the whole…

(friendly yet menacing murmer)  “You see, around here, we don’t kill people. They just have...happy little accidents.”

Mermaids are real. Saw one while i was at the beach a few years back, she was out about 50 yards into the water, frantically waving her hands at me, non-verbal creatures, so I imagine this is how they say “hello” and then she just went under the water and I never saw her again.