They’re intended for people who want to know what Dowd thinks of movies. I disagree with his reviews a lot but of all the critics I read, Dowd seems to be the one least concerned with satisfying anyone else’s needs. Critics like Anthony Lane and David Denby, for example, are clearly writing for the (assumedly)…

You think that’s bad, the movie attempts to replicate reality so vividly that half way through, Simba is shot dead by a poaching Donald Trump, Jr

“I’m looking forward to the photo-real remake of Inside Out”

*ominous whistling of “When You Wish Upon A Star,” hardened criminals fleeing the street in terror* Mickey comin’!

We’ll allow this one, but one more and you have to eat your shoe.

Executive producer: Werner Herzog.

Merely “photorealistic cruddiness” in the headline gave off delightful Jay-Sherman-in-a-bad-mood vibes, and the rest of the article more than lived up to it. Superb pannery.

Me, after reading seven paragraphs full of one excoriating pull-quote after another:

WHO LEAKED THE PLANS FOR OPERATION LIGHTFOOT

You are thinking of President Abraham Lincoln.

And a link to said interview, so people don’t have to type “conchata ferrell random roles” into Google to find it:

Thank you, Conchata Ferrell, for the best Rip Torn story in any Random Roles interview.

I remember watching that as it aired, and we immediately knew that it was something very special indeed.  It also gave rise to a line that my now-wife and friends still use from time to time, from the footrace between a sprinter and a zebra: “The key for the zebra is to know it’s in a race.”

i mean, total transparency, she has never seemed sated afterwards.

Dear Penthouse,

I misread the headline as could a hot dog win the hot dog eating contest.

2006 Carolina Hurricanes nod their head sadly.

(Pedantry warning)

Nostradamus predicted this

What if he just does fine for the rest of the year?