How many times did Shailene Woodley’s neighbors think the phrase “What the fuck is wrong with this family?” while driving past their house?

seriously. every time I see a dude put his hands on a woman’s head, I’m like, “DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THOSE BEACHY WAVES TOOK TO MAKE, MOTHERFUCKER? HANDS OFF.”

I got second-degree sunburn twice. I foolishly thought that my melanin would protect me. I’m medium to light brown and I’m noticeably darker after 15-20 minutes in the sun.

Attention Black People:

If there’s any other reason to start using sunscreen, it’s because Frank Ocean does, according to his mom

What? My therapist screams at me and calls me a slut. Is that not the right way to counsel patients?

Also doesn’t give you the right to harass people seeking medical care. Or write down their license plate numbers or post their photos online - which is what these sick fucks do to women.

The complaint, as the Chicago Tribune reports, accuses the city, Mayor Rahm Emanuel, police Superintendent Eddie Johnson and Transportation Commissioner Rebekah Scheinfeld of “partnering with abortion vendors to violate the rights of those who wish to reach out to women seeking abortions.”

I’m a guy and, not only would I marry him for $50 million, but I’d probably do every kinky thing he had in mind for however long I was contractually obligated. I’d just lay back and think of England or something like that. It’s all about the dollah, dollah bill, y’all. Of course, my wife may not be thrilled by that…

I prefer the story about how James Cameron almost let Ed Harris drown when filming The Abyss, so Ed Harris punched him in the face.

“Cunt” is the shaved truffles of swear words.

After his little display of banging on the dock, shouting sieg heil, making a nazi salute, and then singing some kind of fascist song she said ‘We’re all very impressed. Take him down.’ (Take him down meaning take him back to the cells btw) Which is the most dead pan and condescending response possible and makes him…

We need a tv show where this Judge teams up with Judge Amber Wolf and does...really, anything. Maybe have the two of them chat with that miserable Judge Aaron Persky.

Yo. Eating other people’s food is really uncool. I am mad for you.

Some local hamburger place (similar to Dairy Queen) sells bags of their popsicles. Flavors include banana, root beer, blue, and tigers blood (fruit punch with extra coconut flavoring.) I took a bag to work on Monday - FOR MYSELF, not for making friends or to bond with my co-workers. Now they are gone and these blue…

Oh, you want to see the *handsome* kitty? That would be the other cat.

but here’s a dick in a box

I had been planning on saving this for SNS, but here’s a dick in a box for hijacking purposes.

She’s going to have a very cushy job at Trump Media after he loses the election.

I don’t want to call her a hateful bitch but...