Can we stop directing our “Yas, Queen!” Gif to anyone except Michelle Obama untilNovrmer at least?

Was it just me, or did she look/sound a little emotional when she said the line about her daughters being able to take for granted that a woman could be president? I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting that from her. Not because I don’t think Michelle would care about big milestones in women’s achievement, but just…

Michelle Obama just keeps getting better and better. At everything.

Before I read anyone else’s replies to crazy dates I’m going to post my own. It is incredibly specific (and incredibly long, like all my SNS posts), so hello to anyone who might be reading this who knows me in real life.

I guess my craziest date is actually not a date at all, it was more of a one-night/day stand that later turned into a relationship?

Oh I have a similar one! A mutual friend told me this guy wanted to ask me out and was working up his courage so “don’t shoot him down if he asks you out.” I had zero interest in him but went ahead and accepted the date. We met up at a bar for a beer before heading to a movie and he said NOTHING. I had to keep the…

That’s ok; I once had sex with a guy AFTER hearing him describe his tattoos as “tribal”. Was also drunk and, honestly, not in the best place.

I probably should’ve made a new burner for this, but I doubt he reads Jez, so here goes:

I was dating this guy, and it was really early in the relationship. We’re talking maybe our second or third date. He picked me up and we went canoeing (I know, I know...but I’m an active person that and appealed to me).

I had a really horrible date once. The guy shared his fantasty with me of having me fist him in the parking lot of a McDonald’s and call him my bitch, he even suggested we go do that right now! We were in the car after having gone to see a movie, so I quickly got out of the car and ran back into the movie theater, and…

Once when I was an undergrad, I went on a first-date to a concert with this musician. I noticed that he was extremely quiet on the way there and pretty much through the whole show and afterwards. I was starting to feel really worried that I had said something wrong, because I kept trying to chat the whole night and he…

Worst date: Dude showed up wearing jorts, carrying 2 handguns and a concealed carry license, and accidentally punched me when over-enthusiastically reaching for his beer.

He took me to the zoo to watch the lions being fed.

I went on a date to the movies with a guy I really really really really realllllly really really liked. I crushed on him for SO LONG and he finally asked me out and I was OVER THE MOON.

No, it’s great, this is a real favor you’re doing everyone!

Craziest date I ever went on was a date that I didn’t realize was a date. I thought it was a ‘we haven’t seen each other for a few weeks now that school’s out, we should go see a movie and hang out’, because I was young and naive, and didn’t think the kid who invited me to prom, then dropped me once he got back…

My worst date was with this guy who regaled me with a story of eating too much protein powder, going to Vegas, getting drunk and basically shitting his bed (that he was sharing with one of his friends) with a crumbly poop of protein cause he was too wasted to make it to the bathroom. The saddest part is that I still…

The winner for pissing contest this week (by most stars!) is: ginger is a construct! For her story “Surprise Jalepeno”!

Cue the conservative dimwits screaming how undignified Michelle O is being and that we need someone to bring “class” back to the role of first lady.

Last week’s pissing contest was a blast guys!