There should be, like, a “Drunk” Facebook setting you can activate where you have to solve a complicated math problem before you can ‘like’ stuff or message someone.

God, yes. At this point, the main thing I get out of Facebook is the knowledge that I’m only like two degrees of separation from all the people I never want to see or talk to, at all times.

Can these new features invoke some sort of demon or poltergeist that is linked to his partner but its mission is specifically to bother him and only him?

It can also stop suggesting one-night-stands in the “people you may know” column. Just because we exchanged phone numbers doesn’t mean I need to see pictures of them with their parents. Kthxbai.

haha YES! which is worse:

God, yes, why have they not invented a “stop suggesting I know this person” feature yet!? Nothing as emotionally tough as yours, but I keep getting recommended to friend people that I hate, or people that I was friends with, and have unfriended for various reasons. Let me please confirm that I do not now, nor do I…

THIS IS SO DEAD ON. Also sometimes in non-quickie situations my vagina is all “game on” but then its attention span is too short and it’s napping in front of the television by the time I actually need it.

no lie, doing lines of coke off a dude’s V line is better than actually doing coke.

I’m 22 and need lube at all times. It’s not that deep. Just some extra vagina love necessary.

How ridiculous is it that weed makes you super horny, but also gives you horrible dry mouth? /shakes head

I'm unreasonably happy to find that this happens to other people!!

Seriously. I’m 34 and I never, ever needed lube. Until recently. It has made me feel so awful and even left me wondering if my marriage is failing because why would I need this??????? I hate that feeling.

that’s the WORST when it’s like, 15 minutes later NOW you decide to jump in and help?

Thanks Obama Vagina

It IS a giant handprint. IM SO CONFUSED how you’re supposed to get the lube from container to desired location without getting it slathered basically everywhere. JODI KERR I NEED HELP.

No that’s when you get out a sharpie, circle the stain and write the words “worth it” next to the stain.

unless it’s about the stains that are unremovable because silicone lube is the worst...yet best.

This lube shaming needs to end.

And weed makes you sooo horny. Also sometimes I want a quickie then my vagina will lazily lubricate itself after I’m done.

also bitch you’ve obviously never tried to have sex while super high on that tip top chronic no lube no sex no fun in that situation

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date