Logged in to star this. :o)

“...I’M THE ASSHOLE IN THIS SCENARIO.”

Pessimist me says: This is going nowhere. It’ll be gone in a coupla days.

Teenage dork me had my first huge crush on this girl at my high school. One night at a party, I talked her into going for a drive with me, during which I scraped up all my courage and revealed my feelings for her. She explained that she’d just discovered she was pregnant (at age 15). So, not really in the mood for my…

The location of that cup holder displays a certain contempt for the American market. “Yeah, here’s your fucking cup holder, you bunch of slobs.”

If you play this backwards, you can clearly hear:

Bring on the remixes!

What is “oped?” Is it the opposite of “noped?” Because if it isn’t, it should be.

Fuck Steve Bannon right in the ear.

Heir to the throne of Brut.

That’s sweet of you, thanks so much!

I wish somebody had kicked this guy in the balls as soon as he flashed that shirt.

Delightfully random, and yet right on target. More stars, please.

Why do I keep fuckin’ up?

Ouch that’s my nose!
Ouch that’s my nose!
Ouch that’s my nose!

Hugs are very nice
Sex can be complicated
Kissing is perfect.

“The Containment Unit has been opened. The ghouls are free.”

This needs waay more stars.

Nah, I just went ahead and scheduled a partial colonoscopy.  That’ll get to the bottom of it.

I get the feeling that Glen Frey’s dad was one mean dude.