Feb 5

I’m told that management had to keep ratcheting up the worker-responsibility rhetoric with him, until it finally clicked.

May 1

Maybe he could pick Elizabeth Warren, win the election, then eat a bad banana or something and just cash out on about January 22 or 23. Whaddaya think, Joe? C’mon, buddy. Jesus has a brand-new C8 Corvette with your name on the pink slip.

Apr 28

Every time I look at this goon I see the anodyne plastic face of a 1970s-vintage G.I. Joe.

Mar 3 2020

“I’m not a racist -
I just had too much to drink!”
There, all better now.

Mar 3 2020

“This sure is silly!”
“That is one big, loud penis!”
Hmm, these need some work...

Mar 3 2020

The condom looks like they put it on backwards or something. First thing I said was, well that’s not gonna work very good.

Feb 20 2020

Four thousand gallons of jet fuel spilled out of a tanker split open when it hit a guardrail and overturned on Wednesday afternoon in Indianapolis, igniting a highway overpass ramp, and sending flammable liquid pouring down both sides. Read more

Feb 3 2020

Not only that, but girl you don’t even wanna know about the bacteria & mold that’s growing inside that little duck.

Jan 27 2020

To be so creative at such a young age makes her one to watch for sure.

Dec 25 2019

Great. I was just about to shut off the computer and proceed with my annual Christmas Eve tradition of watching an episode of Buffy before turning in (don’t ask - I really have no idea). But I had to click on just one more article. Now I’m looking forward to colorful Christmas dreams of adorable puppies, playfully sink Read more

Oct 28 2019

Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a- hey this is actually kind of fun.”

Oct 25 2019

I actually ear-dialed somebody once. I don’t think I could do it again, but at the rate I’m going who knows.

Oct 8 2019

Okay but, the whole “trembling brainpan” thing... See, in order for your brainpan to actually tremble, you know, by itself, plausibly, it would really need to be a much less integral or foundational part of your physical manifestation - like a pinkie, or an earlobe. Because if your actual brainpan were to actually Read more

Sep 22 2019

Pretty sure the only place where a 42% increase = “nearly doubled” is in Clickbait Town. Is that where we are?