Someone needs a hug.

Heh. Well, at least it wasn’t, “My customers always come first!”

Goddamn right - that is impressive.

All I know is, I now want badly to see the Buffy intro, with the original theme replaced by this catchy little ditty. Priority-wise, this has just leapfrogged over a bunch of other stuff.

Jesus, did any of this shit ever actually work? This one in particular is just fucking terrible.

Christ, my heart bleeds for this guy’s poor kids, having to sit through this terrible, excruciating, endless video! Depending on their ages and other factors, they’re either thinking, “Oh no! Daddy is a tragic hero and he might die!!” or “OMG, my dad is the biggest bag of dicks on the planet and I want to die!!”…

.

Holy Christ that is so perfect.

Hee! It’s nice to see a reminder that not all nuns are damaged, sadistic bitches like a couple of the “overachievers” at my grade school were. <shudder>

I dunno, this one made me chuckle. I’m just glad he didn’t face-plant on the terrazzo.

Just one blonde joke, please? Pretty please?? Okay, thanks:

Hands-in-pockets guy is preparing to administer what stand-up comic John Mendoza used to call “New York City CPR,” where the caregiver is instructed to stand over the patient and yell, “GET UP BEFORE YOU FUCKIN’ DIE!”

Snarking on the Democratic prez... Are we seeing another Dennis Miller in its larval stage?

I know this isn’t the point, but spying on me while I’m stumbling around half-naked in my shitty little apartment is gonna be crime and punishment rolled into one, folks.

“How are you going to fit a whole clown up your ass?”

Is it even possible to reverse a lobotomy? Tune in and find out!

Little Mouse Man Jesus!

Chess.

Off-topic, but this is very similar to how I feel about watching Cops these days.

More stars, damn it! < click click >