Help! I’ve Fallon and I can’t get up!

Dick Pound may pooh-pooh Zika in public, but behind closed doors he and the IOC are elated that there will be a whole new generation of pinheads across the globe for them to grift.

THR is saying love interest, but I’m holding out hope that she’ll be Shuri, T’Challa’s sister who has at various times held the mantle of Black Panther.

Is anyone else over the Olympics? I loved it as a child. Now I view it as the monetizing of manufactured nationalism often at the expense of countries who cannot afford to host them.

This is a disgrace. A bunch of sweaty, jacked-up men running around Vegas, rippling muscles barely contained by their tight uniforms?

that one’s me... cuteness overload :) i’m having a dog

Especially when another male comedian admitted it was him (Doug Stanhope). There could be two, but...

Is anyone else slightly disturbed that we all just decided to accept Louis CK is a sex offender based on random, unrelated stories about random, unrelated comics acting creepy?

But how will I know that that is his step mom?

Grimes isn’t my usual style of music but DEAR GODS IN R’LYEH have I been listening to this album almost nonstop. It’s beautiful. It’s ballsy. It’s brilliant. I am just flabbergasted by her talent.

“Hi, I’m Peter Dinklage” :D

Unless he still has the suit.

The difference is that Schilling kept posting crazy shit on FB after ESPN suspended him and told him to stop, and Ray Lewis never killed anyone obstructed justice again after they asked him to stop.

Kinda pissed that this ad is making me side with Paul Ryan. I can feel myself dying inside.

It’s good to know that mine isn’t the only brain that went right to that.

I can’t be mad about this, musicians of the orchestral variety usually have such a hard time making money.

Honestly, I think my family topped even Kanye’s Mother’s Day.

Oh, Vanessa is still beating you because she had leukemia as a child.

Woo! Mentally ill and poor? ME TOO! High fives all around.

I regret reading that. I mean, I’m easily the least productive person I know but I also have the decency to be mentally ill and poor. You can’t toast your own fucking bagel?