From baby buttholes to tofurkey sausages, this whole article made me vaguely nauseated.

marry a programmer 

The greatest side benefit of the iPhone is that I can pretend not to see you. Your own dumbass fault for getting pregnant.

Richard Simmons is the sweetest guy. My mother is the author of a bunch of beach-read/comedy crime books. They sell well and she has great fan base but she never thought that a celebrity was reading them.

Do the old gimmick of having Trump look in the mirror. Baldwin plays Trump; Rosie O’Donnell plays the reflection.

im just reposting this again to hopefully raise awareness. I’m am not surprised they are putting American Indians in what are essentially cages. The way that American Indians have been treated and are treated by our government is nothing less than shameful. The below post doesn’t even get into the horrors of the…

If you watched Michael Che on SNL’s Weekend Update, he said he was looking forward to watching the team from the blackest city in the US kicking ass on the team from the most racist place he’s ever visited (this is my bad paraphrase), so that’s another reason to watch (sorry, Foxboro [’though I suspect Che meant…

Coach/guy/person really seemed to enjoy that little improv. He was tickled pink.

Awww, I missed this! I love them!

I have not and have been looking for it as well. It’s quite the contrast to Obama/Biden.

I have a friend who requested tickets months ago when it seemed like Hillary was a sure thing. She received them last week. She’s still going to DC — for the march — but her family of 5 will not be at the Inauguration. I wonder how many other ticket holders won’t be there.

And his official photo is creepy AF.

I know, but how could it possibly be bettter than this? Weep at the bling, homies.

nah

It’ll be really hard to outdo their fabulous graphics at the DNC, when the entire Jumbotron appeared to shatter & rain a million pieces of glass down through all the other smaller screens and the stage. That was SO much awesome! (It’s no wonder Trump was jealous of the DNC, because she out-WWE’d him.)

This is the kind of heroism that literally every single American CEO should be capable of:

Dont trust unattended brownies, people. They’re bad news.

Counterpoint: me and my doggy who is going to cross the old rainbow bridge in 3.5 hours. :/

I love Dos Toros, but I'm always frustrated by the pre-seating that goes on there. Pre-seating is so rude.

Seriously, I guessed their mistake may be writing it down somewhere, but I honestly don’t give a crap about teachers venting.