FYI, that comedy routine comes from Cheech and Chong in the late Sixties/early Seventies and is unrelated to either shoes or trousers.

I might die if you shoved an onion up my vagina.  I'm allergic to onions.  So how about you don't do that.

A friend was wont to mow her enormous lawn out in the country in the nude with a tractor.

“Supposed to.” 🙄

I have one of those-in my garage.  

Sure, if you want to fall pregnant. My sponge baby’s 31. My sister had an abortion instead of her sponge pregnancy. The father ran out on her. She already had one child she was raising alone. She couldn’t afford another one. She thought that guy would stay. Broke her heart.

The gerbil was DOA, right?

Please do not “chew” on labia or any other female anatomy. 🙄

Please do not “chew” on labia or any other female anatomy. 🙄

True, but an antidepressant will fail after years of being on it. Many have failed me over the past 31 years. Some have worked for a decade, some never worked at all. Most barely allow us to maintain a low level of functionality.

Rubella causes brain damage: deafness, blindness and mental retardation.

Pertussis lasts a maximum of 5 years.

The chicken pox vaccine causes the body to defend against chicken pox. It doesn’t INFECT with chicken pox. Chicken and pox causes shingles.

The chicken pox vaccine causes the body to defend against chicken pox. It doesn’t INFECT with chicken pox. Chickenpox causes shingles.

Pediatricians have it.

Some people have less response to vaccines than others because their immune systems are less responsive or impaired. It is normal for them but not a disease. My son has this trait, it runs in his father’s family.

Be sure to get the shingles vaccine.

Mumps is an infection that must occur on both sides of your body for immunity. If only your left or right side was involved then you weren’t immune and could catch it again. You needed both sides for full immunity.

Didn't read the article.  Check.

Fanta sucks like a Dyson.