You got beat up by your shoelaces.

I remarked to my girlfriend after she heard about this story that “if I ever get that kind of brain damage from anything, please, pull the plug. I don’t want to survive that.”

To which she said “if I found out you got brain damage after a night in a whorehouse, I’d gladly pull the plug.”

Thank god it’s not a Republican candidate debate. I don’t think I could stand to hear them discuss this topic right now.

It’s fueled by your bullshit.

This needs more stars. Another nuanced discussion about “all brown people are dangerous, more spying and security checks” is not going to do fuck all. The international community is not going to be glued to their tv screens to watch something going on in fucking Des Moines.

“The entire world is looking to the White House.”

Agreed. They kept people calm and secured.

The entire world is looking to the White House.

“Now, let me tell you what the French did that caused them to be attacked in this way, and how they should change so that it doesn’t happen in the future.”

That’s top notch crowd logistics right there. Multiple incidents outside with possibly more developing. The safest place those people could have been was inside that stadium. If you let them all out, not only could it lead to panic and stampedes, but possibly a coordinated attack is awaiting them outside.

Jesus. I can’t even. I’ll never complain about a security queue again.

I don’t understand why Judith Miller has anything to say about anything.

My fave was Trump gloating about gun control, because the French ambassador responded calling him a vulture.

Selena Gomez’s situation is really scary. Stalkers are terrifying beyond words in terms of how close they often get to their target.

Some of the dregs of humanity were really puking up their bullshit on twitter about the Paris attacks.

Wow. Suck it, Rob Lowe. France’s borders are not your fucking problem, anyway. Dick.

“But I have black friends, so I’m not a racist!”

That isn't the way it works. You don't prepare for the worst by discriminating against an entire group of people. That is exactly what creates radical extremism in the first place.

Abe, I have to imagine that 10 minutes as your acquaintance is enough to radicalize anyone.

Oh, I don’t feel bad at all saying that radical Muslims are pieces of shit. I feel bad about the fact that people will direct their anger towards every Muslim. It was bad enough in January, it’s going to be worse now, and I'm sad about it...