One of my exes started dating the girl who bullied me (they are now married I think), but I was like, you know I don’t really need to talk to either of you. Enjoy!

to be fair, in Los Angeles, “lives in another neighborhood” is usually the equivalent of 3 hours anyway

“Look, we’ve got a serious problem here. A lot of boys don’t think careers in a STEM field are cool. What can we do to fix that?”

Aside from anything else, it’s troubling that the school has employees dopey enough that this got greenlit without anyone realizing how awful it looked.

If you EVER send someone something saying “I win” in a non-humorous context, there is no question you lost really, really hard.

Let’s be honest. It’s Christmas who has declared war on November. #IStandWithNovember

I saw that as well. Marry a guy after a few months and he has a kid? Nuts.

Gotta say, living in the greater Los Angeles area, I can totally see “Lives far away” as being a deal breaker, but my threshold is much lower than the “more than 3 hours” they listed.

He definitely sounds like a peach.

“Please light it on fire on the stoop.”

Was he dating a teenage Yoda?

Revenue steam.

I’m not proud of this but I once almost purchased gorilla shit via the internet to send to my ex who was a tattooer. Gorilla shit to be delivered to his tattoo shop.

What I love about this is that, somewhere, there’s a farmer who has a new revenue stream.

Well we’ve all learned something very valuable today.

There’s an old joke...don’t be surprised if you go to a barber that you leave with a haircut.

I wrote most of my undergraduate thesis to face-melting dubstep. It’s also what tends to get me through reading college applications each winter.

You are honestly the most beautiful human.

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date

I can’t listen to favorite concertos like Rachmaninoff’s 2 in C minor (so emotional), but do fine with Bach partitas or even Mozart trios. There’s a soothing repetitive quality - it’s very light yet energizing.