my god, the dolphin relief

I met that person yesterday, he’s a personal trainer at my gym, which basically means he gets people to pay him to listen to his crazy conspiracy theories and racist, sexist, xenophobic shit for 30 minutes at a time while they do situps.

Who would cheat without a burner email?

I think that aside from the actual Queen of England, a baby is the very last thing I would expect to find on the floor of a bar.

I have zero patience for people who don’t leash their dogs in public.

Yeah, it’s a little disingenuous to say that someone doesn’t look like they need a service animal. Service animals do all kinds of things beyond opening doors and smelling smoke; there is such a thing as a therapy animal that someone needs for companionship.

*Sigh* I work with someone who does this and puts a fake “service animal” vest on her not-super-obedient dog. She keeps claiming she will get around to certifying the dog “someday,” but it hasn’t happened in two years. I do not think the dog would qualify as-is now, because it doesn’t always respond to commands. A few…

Whenever I see an article about planes I just want to inform everyone that on many (most?) planes the headrest can be molded to fit around your head. Then you can fall asleep without flopping awake.

There’s a huge difference between a service animal, which are thoroughly trained to assist people with disabilities and perform daily tasks or give some kind of medical assistance and a companion animal, which provide emotional support for people with mental illness or severe emotional problems but don’t have any…

Photo proof.

So much yeeessss! I want you to know I’m jacked even when I’m wearing normal, non-gym clothing.

Lolololol, considering the woman below is a fucking fitness model. Also, lifting with extensions is humorous to me.

Pumpkin gnocchi = ❤️

brb, changing my handle again

Real pumpkin is delicious. Sludge pumpkin is delicious.

I would rather we all drink STRAIGHT Class IV caramel coloring than give this victory to the fucking Food Babe. Goddamnit...

And it will still taste like a basic bowl of diabetes.

Can’t unsee.

I filmed an “extremely awkward sex scene” once. I was dating this guy for about 3-4 months when he set up his iPhone on a tripod on the bedside table. WTF? NOOOOOooooooo. “It’s just so I can watch it later,” he said. GTFO OF MY HOUSE, I said.

This is a former governor and Fox television host. He’s not making some crazy rant on the internet. He is the Republican party. He is not a moron. He is a cruel, calculating man in a position of power.