This is some Choose Your Own Adventure shit.

My mom was from a huge family. At least one of the daughters is basically a slave-labor babysitter for as long as possible. That's Jana!

You're a Disney character! In the best way!

I went there with a friend and watched a gal with wearing SOOOOOO much perfume try on dresses. The attendant actually had to air out the room with a fan, then found shitloads of self-tanner on a few gowns. It's fake fancy.

Both my kids were overdue. That suuuuuuucks. Good luck, gal.

I read it as Ron Swanson.

Okay, what is fleek? I've seen this three times today.

Is improvement a really great strain of weed?

She's taking belfies in what looks like a pretty average one-bedroom in West LA. So, trash basket, get in line.

Oh, yes. She'd done it and recommended it to me, to free myself of my carefully selected black chunky frames.

Yeah, like 40,000 students go there. There's bound to be a fascinating panoply of subcultures.

I wonder how much more on point these women would be if they didn't oppress each with these aggressive beauty demands.

I feel this way, too. Only instead of contacts, various hippie pals have told me to "free myself" from glasses via a program of eye exercises. I just like my glasses, gang.

Why the last two were in your wedding at all is kind of a puzzler, but your sister is your sister. Was she always this flakey? Also, no, do not go.

I had a weird, non-traditional wedding with no attendants. It was great. It's what you make of it, like most things.

Oh, good lord. I'm not afraid of homeless women or menstrual issues. Don't be a turd. I'm pointing out that cups aren't a one-size-fits-all product for all people, homeless or otherwise. Good f'ing grief.

I meant inserting it with dirty hands.

If you have been living on the streets, your hands have touched worse stuff than your camping buddies' did, I'd bet. I'm not talking about "less than clean" I'm talking about dirty paws. Would you remove your cup if you hadn't been able to really thoroughly wash your hands in a few days?

Look, cups are great, but you need to wash your hands well before you fish them out, and I'm guessing that many homeless women often find themselves squatting and/or using facilities that are less than daisy fresh.

I'm not sure many homeless or marginally homeless women have adequate access to hand-washing or sanitizing equipment for that to work as well as it could.