This one bitch started painting her nails on a commuter plane between DC and Manchester. Collectively, the plane said, “Fuck that” and rang for the attendant. It was pre-9/11 but that’s no excuse.

Now this is a story!

GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE:

I used to take beta blockers when I flew, because no amount of Xanax ever did the job. But it’s tough to get my hands on that. Instead, I listen to the air-traffic control channel. That way, I get warning of any turbulence ahead of time.

This is a genius idea!

That was kind of my assumption too, space issues. My dad has sent MANY gifts that really require either a driveway or a large yard to utilize. We live in the city and don’t have those things. Hence his large/impractical gifts get regifted or donated almost immediately.

I had a roommate with this very peeve!

Oh, yeah. Lizzie. She exists.

Andy Cohen liked it to. I mean, it’s no “Chic, C’est La Vie.”

A tempeh reuben is pretty bitchin'.

I will take your car-purchasing recommendations for when my car doesn't smell/sound like a child shitting in it.

Oh, foo. I thought we were in the same city what with all the Chicago deep-dish talk. I wish you well, thin-crust fan.

Yeah, I think it's bread lasagne because if you sub pasta for pizza dough, it's similarly gloppy. It's something I've ever only been served at places I don't want to be, so maybe that's me.

Where! Share.

Deep-dish pizza is not bad if you're just honest with yourself and refer to it as bread lasagne.

Is that that shit from Cincinnati?

No, that's actually a little reassuring, thanks.

I live in a larger city, and we have a group of doulas that work on a sliding scale based on ability to pay. Other doulas have set fees.

Is that him? It looks like a character from a Graham Greene novel.

Did you keep it? Did you?