okay this is clearly why Jojo freaked out when Ben said “i love you” back to her? because she made a deal to be the bachelorette?

when i was in high school i read “The Road” thinking it was “On the Road”. it was very confusing.

idc idc i will use it in all the things

too long. didn’t read.

thanks for introducing me to a new word! i will be working “quisling” into every conversation ever from now on.

sweet, sweet bagel cancer

we reap what we sow #RIP

i will wave at you as i bike by

my fave thing is the “rivalry” that everyone keeps trying to make happen between Serena and Maria. Sorry 18-2 is a massacre, not a rivalry.

“If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be Erntedankfest.”

right. if you’re a Christian and think that the devil is a little, old, ugly man with red horns coming out of his forehead you should maybe... check your holy text?

heebus. take care of your neck skin is the lesson to be learned from this, i guess.

THIS IS HORRIFYING

I THINK HE EATS PEOPLE

i make of that that people are dumb as rocks

PAY IT IN PENNIES #BePetty2016

PEPPA PIG IS A GODDAM TREASURE

i submit that angry Liv Tyler actually looks like Russian Cate Blanchett

NOPE

When Ebola came to the US where did it go? Dallas.