why do Bills fans insist on utilizing their partners’ pants like dead Tauntauns?

“Actually I hate all of you. Why won’t anyone give Tebow a shot? He won a playoff game!” -God

It seems like Russell Wilson and J.J. Watt, are neck-and-neck, for the “NFL’s Most Annoying Player”.

You down with J.P.P?

Rosa Parks was specifically chosen by the NAACP as the face of their cause because of her intelligence and unimpeachable character. It seems like Kim Davis was chosen by the far right because of the opposite qualities. So, good call.

God, when reached for comment:

I actually really enjoyed the Cardinals’ book. I mean, there’s a lot of senseless violence and it has some questionable things to say about black people, but the prose is spectacular.

But can black lives melt steel beams?

Yea, but is Flacco elite?

I guess I just don’t understand why these people can’t be held accountable for their lies. I mean, Fiorina is straight up slandering Planned Parenthood and nothing is going to be done to stop her or make her walk it back.

i had an aneurysm when Huckabee complained that we don’t cure diseases any more.

I said this over on the Gizmodo article, which is just slightly below Gawker Prime in attracting right wing crackheads, and will say it again here. Ben Carson needs to have his medical license stripped. he is a lying pandering jackass using fear to advance a political agenda, which is his right. But he then loses the…

So a group of people dominated an area for many years until outsiders moved in, took over everything, and routinely massacred the original inhabitants. Interesting.

Maybe they can change their name to the “Washington Redseats.”

But John Terry really is a cunt.

Ahh, you never disappoint, 50 Shades of Jim Gray. You’re just like my father, except you’re always there for me.

Here are the two best reasons to forever hate the New England Patriots:

I tranq’d a bear and put it in a room in the base I was supposed to be infiltrating. Most hilarious thing I have ever done. Then, during the chaos I set C4 on all the comms equipment I was supposed to be blowing up, fultoned a cargo container, hopped on the container and blew the C4 as I rode off into the sunset. I…

“Recruit Quiet Using This One Weird Old Trick”