Today can fuck right off and die.

I photo shopped an ESPN update stating that RGIII is healthy and ready to play.

Can’t help but think Martin would be better off not describing his running style as “put it into gere”

It’s a shame that both “Angry Doug” and “Tough Doug” were already taken by Doug Baldwin.

If only Martin understood the first rule of nicknames: Repeatedly calling attention to the nickname you hate will only make people want to use it more.

But there was something different about Paul O’Neill. I can’t quite put my finger on it but he Worked hard, played Hard, was really Invested in the Team, and was Everything else you want in a teammate.

“You’ll regret pissing off your star player. I guarantee it.”

“Let’s take a rookie to get a makeover” is not journalism. Fuck you, pay him.

Wow, I didn’t realize that ESPN was an arm of the United States government...

Midnight beer math time!

In regards to his BABIP, even young Joc himself knows, it’s going down.

If your implication is that Alex Smith is the refrigerated mayo of professional athletes, I concur.

This story prompted me to do a little research. According to Wikipedia, “the Kansas City Chiefs are a professional American football team in Kansas City, Missouri.”

I don’t like you making fun of the former Dallas Texans. So as a blog writer of sorts to my friends, family and “others” via Facebook the article from Drew is about as poor as it gets!! Is that all it takes to become a staff writer at Deadspin? Well, boy howdy as people think they say down here in texas give me…

Because Alex Smith is an anagram for Le Max Shit, which sounds French.

If you ask me, it’s pretty tasteless of that fan in the parking lot to reenact such a dark moment in Chiefs’ history.

It’s a great night for schadenfreude.

Man, these spambots just keep getting weirder and weirder.

because no one cares?