The best comeback for a juvenille insult is “At least I don’t have herpes.” Because statistically there’s a 1 in 3 chance they do. Then they’d be all “How tf did you know??”

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. The NRA should simply tell the secret service to ban people, not guns, from the hall. Problem solved.

Imagine the horror of a world without your cancel culture nonsense. All those people who like both Mulaney and Chappelle forced to be happy as a result of a fun surprise while haters had to feel for 15 minutes as though their specific political opinions were not being catered to.

You’re right but also people easily triggered should just avoid going to stand-up comedy shows in general.

To be honest, I’m way more offended over Chris Evans joking and smiling with Senator Mike Lee (Utah) (R) not two fucking days after the asshole *defended* Georgia’s new voting restrictions because of “2020 Election Fraud”.

I think this was a solid enough episode that happened to have one of the worst fucking cold opens I’ve ever seen.

I volunteered for the Navy thinking I’d be a pilot. It didn’t work out because I tubed the depth perception part of the vision test in flight school, but I became an NFO (what Goose, Slider, and Tim Robbins are in the original Top Gun). 25 years later, I’m still at it. Well, I’m still in the Navy anyway; unless…

Considering what America is about to do to reproductive rights, this is step 376.

We are on step 2.

Eye on the ball.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they shut down the Redbox brand and used the machines to rent faith-based movies.

I believe her.

No woman is ever going to be the “perfect victim” and there are seemingly countless people online who want to hold Heard to some asinine standard. She’s an abuse survivor and Depp sounds like a nightmare.

Now that Heard can speak to her experiences and, you know, defend herself, I feel like this trial is going to do WAY more damage to Depp’s career than the op-ed ever did. These allegations aren’t REMOTELY on the same level as what Depp accused her of. Hard to imagine it could be possible to explain sexual assault…

Maybe if you’re running a TV show and need new melodrama every week, this is exactly the kind of person you want to have around? I mean, I think you’d want her in an isolation tank or something.

““Only Elisabeth can speak to her personal story.””

Kinda seems like no, she cannot.

I get that this is what everyone will remember about this case but how is shitting in his bed worse than him trashing her closet and belongings, making threats, physical violence toward her, etc?

Eh, the videos of his screaming at her are hardly promising.

I just think of the quote “If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.”

my mom use to serve people as a side gig. yep. they do whatever it takes to get the person to take the papers. and Sudeikis would have zero involvement.

It’s NOT bullshit. I’ve worked with process servers in the past. The stuff you see on tv about them doing whatever it takes to serve papers is basically true. They will dress up as delivery guys, pretend to be clients, raging fans, etc. to get the job done. Sudeikis would have no say on the matter regarding that. That…

This is a smart way to serve papers.  Wilde couldn’t hide behind a closed door to avoid getting them, it’s in public so she’d be much less likely to be confrontational, and she can’t say she never received the papers.  I’m sure Sudeikis had nothing to do with the timing.