Oh man this song always made me cry!

RIP, James Ingram. I will remember you always for your duet with Linda Ronstadt on the soundtrack for “An American Tail.”

The most over-the-top baby shower I’ve ever been to was in a rented mansion, decorated in specific colours (not Pantone, but still), catered by two different restaurants, had an open bar with six different types of brown liquor, a selfie spot, a table with a wall of presents about six feet high, and all the women…

Okay, this was not over the top, but I bet I can take the cake for most pathetic baby shower. My twins had just been born super early and in dire condition. They were the size of squirrels and ensconced in the NICU unable to breathe on their own, but my aunt insisted on going through with the shower she had planned. I…

Thankfully, I’ve never been to an over-the-top baby shower, but I will say that at MY baby shower, my insane ex-mother-in-law walked in after not having seen me since I became pregnant, immediately knelt on the floor in front of me, and began whispering and kissing my belly. She was like, making out with my belly…

Am I crazy or does this new blogger have the worst tone and takes of all the Deadspin writers?

The conspiracy theory I’m going with is that the NFL wanted the Rams in the Super Bowl so people in LA might actually start paying attention to football.

I usually say that if a bad call beats you, it is your own fault for letting it be that close. But this was absolutely brutal. Like Armando Gallaraga perfect game brutal. If they are going to miss something like that, then watching a game is almost pointless and you can just watch a random number generator do its…

I have no horse in this race at all but man that stings. What a horseshit no call, maybe the worst ever. Completely robbed. How Sean Payton could hang around and do an interview afterwards without losing his shit is beyond me

People that defend monsters are just worried that one day their transgressions will come to light.

They were 17 and 19 when I was born. They were stupid kids. I ended up being the parent more times than I could count, straws notwithstanding. 

How did any of us ever live to adulthood?

Oh no, here comes another memory. When my slightly younger sister and I were still in grade school I somehow learned about fermentation, probably from our older siblings, or maybe in school, something about the Egyptians and beer or the Romans with wine.

Me, too. A friend gave me a gift with a pretty white angel tied to the ribbon. I assumed it was chocolate, and because I’m not a sweets-person, later stuck it in the fridge. A few weeks later I had a rare sugar-craving and remembered that little angel, pulled her out and took a big bite of soapy goodness. 

OOh my gawd!! Hoorrkk.

As a wee girl (ages three to six), I was always excited to wake up the day after a party at our house because there would be stuff we didn’t usually have laying around and I had free reign over the house until my parents woke up. I especially liked to collect the red coffee straws laying about. I knew which straws I…

To be fair you were clearly headed toward serious dehydration, heat stroke or sunstroke. Maybe all three!!! Once when I had the same level of delerium I got off a train before it stopped. I fell on the platform and it was a nasty cut/mark for awhile. I was in college and enjoyed showing people my wound from when I…

Fried clam sandwich. It tasted weirdly tangy, but I was very hungry and ignored this warning. I spent the night on the floor of a motel bathroom while my gastrointestinal tract rejected the sandwich, fore and aft.

what kind of dicks are you sucking