I think we finally identified the period when America was “great”: 1776, when the states were largely autonomous and the federal government didn’t even have the power to issue a national currency. They’re sticking a paper clip in America and forcing a hard reset. This time without pesky Thomas Jefferson and his…

As a public school teacher, I love this. We are unable to be trusted to do our job and should probably be fired, but it’s a-ok for us to have guns with us all the time at work.

Let’s be honest; Betsy DeVos would be happy if all public schools were replaced with Christian academies where picking on “the gays” was still acceptable like in the good old days.

Maybe Melania is smarter than we think. After all, she seems to be staying far away from this shitshow.

A few weeks ago on Weekend Update, Michael Che made a joke and then paused and said, “Because we KNOW he’s watching.” They could continue that thread, for sure.

His predictive text pretty much takes over, right? He is so repetitive and a simpleton, monkeys could type for him at this point.

Not only free publicity, but the jokes just write themselves.

NBC should cancel The Apprentice. Drumpf is executive producer and he would go apoplectic. NBC should give Arnold another job, a better job, one that plays up his charisma.

I think he has 30-50 words in his phone’s dictionary that he just randomly mashes after the @grievance.

I was reading the NY Times the other day and they made a really quietly smartass comment essentially pointing out that, as much as Trump likes to refer to them as the “failing New York Times,” they are also clearly one of his main news sources. If he would stop watching SNL and rage-stroke tweeting about it Every.…

It’s funny how after the election we all joked that Pence was Trump’s insurance, because nothing could be more horrible than the thought of President Pence.

He really can’t resist, can he? He knows that every week Baldwin’s gonna tear him a new one, and he knows he can’t handle it, and yet he still watches.

He has a vocabulary of 200 words and 140 characters, those odds are pretty good.

Eventually, some how, some way, I do have faith that this despicable piece of failed humanity will be laid low by his own doing. And I cannot fucking wait. I will literally dance with joy.

I actually woke up today and was shocked he didn’t have a 3 am tweet about it.

I’m not even joking, a friend and I were predicting what this morning’s tweet would be after that sketch. What we came up with was something like “SNL has not been funny in years, always attacking me. Sad!”

It’s so appropriate that the de facto leader of the so-called “anti-PC movement” is someone who absolutely cannot take a fucking joke.

This guy’s a full blown narcissist. And he’s our president. We. Are. Fucked.

Here’s my impression of the average Washington Post commenter and my reaction.