So you won’t eat or abandon them. The same goes for puppies.

So you won't murder them when they cry all night and our species can keep going

None. There is no difference. The difference? There isn’t one!

“Mistakes don’t define you”.....except when you continue to make the same “mistakes” over and over again. Then it’s not a mistake. Then it’s your character. And, yeah, that defines you. Have a seat, Difficult Brown.

He’s like every single bad 90’s trend combined into one hot train wreck of a mess.

I can’t believe he’s not a satire. Perhaps he is an elaborate performance art a la Malibu’s Most Wanted.

I’d like to think that under all that chrome and douchebaggery there is a nice boy who helps wash the dishes after dinner. I also like to think I will win the Megamillions jackpot without playing.

he looks..i can’t. it’s not nice to judge, yet here I am.

Pond scum personified.

That is one of the most punchable faces I have ever seen.

you should see him these days

“U SHOULD DEFiNATLEY MAKE $1,000,000 BEFORE U SPEAK TO ME, BY THE WAY ARE YOU RELATED TO LEGOS ? BECUZ U ARE BLOCKED”

Well glad I already donated to Planned Parenthood today.

Christ, Harvard really is insufferable in every imaginable way.

Y’all. Be serious.

Right. Most feminists have nothing but wonderful things to say about ISIS or the Saudi government.

Mark, I’ve had a very long, very difficult week. And this is exactly what I need right now, as it’s 7:00 and I’m still finishing things up at work and just need to stare at otters for a couple minutes.

Bolivian woman learns one weird trick to getting pregnant! Reproductive endocrinologists hate her!

There’s a Parasitic Worm in Bolivia That’s Making Women Have More Children

Sometimes I want real Mexican, sometimes I want Chipotle. I don’t pretend there’s any crossover between the two.