Yes, she gives me $7,000 per post. It freaking rules.

Bless your heart.

my aunt told me van morrison was an asshole and it ruined my life

I think Obama at this point is close to doing press conferences wearing sweatpants and a Pearl Jam t-shirt carrying a bag of chili cheese Fritos.

I missed the part where they advocate punching random men. You logic really well!

I don’t know what the point of using soap would be anyway. Even if it doesn’t remove the seasoning, which it doesn’t, why would you introduce other flavors? Just clean it with water as quickly as you can while making sure everything is removed, dry it just as quickly, and then rub it down with oil. No soap is…

I too enjoy pricing human beings out of bodily functions.

I want to know. I have to know. I have to calculate the amount I get hit on in comparison, because I am just shallow enough to crave the male gaze. I’d be like an adorabler Mary Ann, I know it. (Watch as I ruin my face.)

YUP. I want.

Guys, it is very easy to replicate freckles with eyebrow pencil and powder.

Yeah, I will absolutely buy this SO FAST.

Right? My parents are racking up 40 years, and I had the extreme misfortune of learning just how loving and sex-filled their union continues to be while living at home for a couple months. Oof. May my future children be so scarred, I hope!

(Also, this model is clearly not actually pregnant. The shoes are the tell.)

that’s more depressing than being single, tbh

I can’t help but read it as “If given the opportunity, this is what I as a man would do.”

.....whaaaaat

Moscow mule copper mug mug.

She wouldn’t.

Things Donald Trump surprisingly doesn’t find disgusting:

It’s such a good series. I watched it all last weekend! Very funny and charming.