I adopted my dog full grown too and sometimes I legit cry that I didn't get to see her as a baby.

Aww feel better pretty baby!

Running away or hiding somewhere you can barricade yourself will probably keep you alive a lot longer than trying to physically disarm someone with a gun. Just saying.

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

I literally almost just burst into flames because I compressed every atom in my body to release the squee that built up inside of me immediately after gazing on that puppy face. Ugh, how do you foster? I would just keep all of them. You are amazing.

I know, her little pink nose with those eyes, she is practically human. Gah, all these fur babies are making my day so much happier.

Pearl says hi to all the internet friends

My dogs name is Pearl. Ruby, Pearl and all other gem-themed old lady names are the best dog names out there.

OOOoOOOOOOOOOOMG.

That puppy is gonna be a big boy, look at those paws. I just want to rub my face in that puppy’s belly and smell its puppy breath.

I was literally screaming this morning that Donald Trump is the fucking Sunkist soda tinted devil because he has brought me to the point in my life where I think Dick Cheney is being a rational human being.

Dude. I went to an early Christmas dinner to see my dad’s siblings. His one brother is a chaplain for a hospital corp. (like last rites and blessing new babies), the other is a retired army general. My uncle who is retired military had a lot of even keel, completely rational discussion points like “We don’t know how…

I finally figured out the test and I have to say...it is a load of bullshit. I was placed way at the right at like .3, highly conservative...not accurate in pretty much every way.

You are not alone. I did like 5 rounds of clicking and I wasn’t getting any type of result.

Shouldn't it be chemical abortion as opposed to medical?

I hate his face so so so much. Like, not merely punchable, but worthy of savage levels of violence.

They would never have named that kid Robert. Kanye West would sooner self-immolate than give the child a name that doesn't demonstrate how completely out of touch he is with the reality that he is in fact not a god.

So pretty much all day I feel like I've been sleepwalking and was pretty sure that someone put LSD in the coffeemaker and this just confirms all my suspicions.

Did you ask my mother for the naked baby picture of me?

You couldn't have possibly known. They look just like normal people.