Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.

To meet the newly implemented security standards, you will need to get a new microchip implanted monthly. If you want to access the VPN, you will need the RSA suppository.

I think it would probably agree with you on this assessment.

Maybe they'll get to direct.

Oh no! He's giving away all of our negotiating secrets! LEAKS!

So, it appears we can all agree that the song is pro-baby slapping. However, the intended outcome of that baby slap is still up for debate.

Ha! That's how my siblings and I always sang it as kids. Then re-watching this movie with my wife she said "Slap that baby, make him free!" which a quick google search confirms is the official lyric. Although, really, make much less sense.

Short answer: yes, with an if. Long answer: no… with a but.

In college my friend gave me a copy of Jesus' Son that she read in one of her lit classes and thought I would like it. I loved the shit out of that book and aped the style so hard the next year in my creative writing class. I think she lent me Don DiLillo's White Noise around the same time too. It was a good time for…

2008 had Taken, which revitalized the Old White Guy Killing People action genre. If their going to ignore super hero movies in this column, I think this is the winner.

Listen, you want to keep those ninjas you already have happy. I recommend a bbq in the parking lot to help boost moral.

I know it's technically a good things for the businesses, but over the years DDD has showcased several great little restaurants in Minneapolis, and without fail, those places get crazy busy. I know it's selfish but I hate having to wait an hour for a table on a Wednesday night because they showed a rerun last week…

I think the millennials (and probably Gen Xers) have gotten stuck with the shit job market. You can complain that they feel entitled to good paying jobs without having to "pay their dues" but that's just the promise of the previous generation. Boomers could go to college and, if needed, work part-time over the summer…

"I wanted to see the lights leave his eyes…"

The rights and brand recognition?

Are we really that far enough away from the Thong Song that it is now a sample-able classic? It's only been *checks watch* 18 years since its release. Jesus.

Millennial Lawyer needs to be a show. They can [insert Poochy reference]. Then he can butt heads with the old, curmudgeonly partner, played by [out of work 90s actor] while also teaching valuable lessons about being able to Google shit to win cases.

So it's a documentary?

There was the Magnificent Seven remake that was totally essential and everyone remembers exists.

Zeus is gonna be pissed.