How the hell do you marry someone and not see their butthole?

Oh my god, why would you post that???

I don’t think it’s possible to overestimate how much that Ted Cruz’s coworkers hate him. And plenty of loathsome people have served in the Senate and been well-liked (Sessions, for one). Apparently, you can be a racist and still be popular; you can be a sexist and still be popular; you can be a radical ideologue and…

YES to your whole post, but especially this:

It’s really lovely how you crap on him being a drama teacher. Let’s dismiss teachers! Especially the arts!

Trudeau: Did he try that handshake bullshit on you?
Macron: Oh yeah, he totally did. Thanks for the tips.

I’ve got to give “the best” Trump deflection to Justin Trudeau. He was fully prepared and it was obvious he was controlling Trump, not the usual vice versa.

It’s funny how a comment that started out using the word “grope” as an excuse to talk about something personal and ostensibly unrelated ended up covering a topic so highly relevant – nay, crucial – to international politics.

When you push your spouse off a cliff, do not keep possession of an area map with an X indicating the spot.

A co-worker of mine when he was a teenager in Mississippi answered the door one time and there Coach Byrant staring back at him. He said to my co-worker, “you are awfully god damn short to want to play for Alabama.” Byrant wanted my co-worker’s brother who was 6'3".

Funny this is on the front page. I took this photo two hours ago.

This is my Dream Car. Someone could give me a brand-new Aston Martin and I’d sell it just to buy an Fj40. Or two. Or three.

Hatori Hanzo steel is heavy.

We here in Canada were surprised at how mean we apparently are to Wisconsin dairy farmers. It turns out that Wisconsin dairy farmers are also a little surprised. Of all the things to fabricate a cross border dispute with Canada about and this guy picks fucking milk. Wisconsin dairy farmers are more hobbled by the fact…

You can defend most crimes this way.

I know social media isn’t the full story of anyone’s life but lately it seems like my Facebook feed is full of people taking trips-to Ireland, Hawaii, Disney World, New York, etc. Or they’re selling houses and moving into nicer houses. Or they’re all schmoopy about anniversaries. Meanwhile I’m contemplating divorce,…

I spent my day under a rainbow zebra print sheet for a canopy, on a cheap-ass hammock. I had a mint julep for breakfast, cream cheese Danish and ice cream for lunch, and Popeye’s chicken strips for dinner. I did all this in a workout shirt and men’s boxers. Later I will finish the Drambuie and start the Barefoot Peach…

Maybe the cheerleaders did something completely disgusting and amoral, like going to a restaurant with a married man.