SHUT UP! I’m not crying, you are!

OMG!!! :) Ketchup chips and Vodka FTW

I feel seen. Thank you.

I am a prodigious face sweater, and people are constantly telling me how sweaty I am. It’s going to lead to aggravated assault charges someday.

As someone who was taken to grade school every day in a 73 Nova SS, this hurts my soul.

Interestingly, someone I know who went to high school with the Fords told me that Rob was the “smart one”. Does not bode well

The election of Doug Ford is especially awful for a number of reasons:

To all my normal, rational American friends, I am so sorry you are being held hostage by a bunch of gun nuts who are opposing every simple solution to a malignant problem.

I want to punch all of the reporters pointing out that he doesn’t “fit the usual profile” not only because of his age but because he is white. Some of them have practically said straight out that it can’t be terrorism because he is white. But of course, most acts of terrorism in this country have been committed by…

Once I was in the loo at the airport and I farted. A woman in another stall said loudly, “That’s disgusting! Who did that?”. I laughed so hard that I farted again and she declared, “I do not have to listen to this!” and stormed out.

Also, courtesy flush. There’s no reason to let your poop linger in the bowl, stinking up the joint. Flush as soon as you poo, people!

Juror No. 52: When I walked in here today I looked at him, and in my head, that’s a snake — not knowing who he was. I just walked in and looked right at him and that’s a snake.

“a reggae song at an airport” to be fair this is an apt description of Rihanna’s music as well.

mickey’s hair is bad. he’s also had a ton of work done. BUT he used to come into the restaurant I worked at frequently, was very nice, softspoken and polite, and tipped SUPER well. so, he has something going for him.

This whole story was so blatantly ridiculous that I was surprised it wasn’t an email forward from my mother

Bra shopping.

“Cool story, bro” time:

Next time you see them, tell them they kick all the ass.

Dear Savannah’s parents: you’re doing it right. Dear stake president: you are not.

Good dad too. I’ve known him for about fifteen years and he and her mom are about as loving and supportive as it gets. I saw his pictures from Pride with them all wearing their matching t-shirts and I’m still talking about it online so I guess it was pretty damn cute.