Ya I really don’t want to be that old guy yelling at the kids but the kids are not all right. Honestly I feel like this:

And this is how you lose your shit. I’m dad and since it’s my money, this is now my account. Which I will cancel after taking your shit. Also thanks for agreeing to paint the house. And our neighbors. You’re also grounded for a...Wait for it. Fortnight. Dad wins.

“I was so busy maintaining the status quo that I forgot to remember that women matter.”

Roger Ailes has remained strangely silent on the changes.

The best part is that we’ve already done what Israel is doing to it’s extreme. The Palestinians aren’t refugees or immigrants they’re native to the area. Israel is a colonizing force that’s massacring the native population just as America has done since it’s inception.

Maybe they’ll lose the deed to city hall.

I’m going to give this guy a money clip with $5 in it so he can buy a sense of humor.

Countdown until ICE agents are a protected class and jokes turn into “hate crimes”

“But because space is limited, roping off 25% of the seats for disadvantaged kids means that 25% of the current students will be forced to attend a different, likely worse performing school.

“I’m miserable, why can’t everyone else be miserable too?”

It seems entirely possible that the NYT was biased against Clinton and that Clinton’s aides were sexist assholes to female reporters from the NYT. I’m not sure what the tapes are supposed to show unless he recorded every single interaction he had with Chozick.

Go ahead and laugh but that guy now has a 6 picture deal with Blumhouse.

Nearly wrote “Florida Man” about five times while putting this together.

Here’s your problem with the ‘homeowner:’

If someone was reaching down like that on me, I’d be hitting their hand away saying they need to at least buy me a drink first.

Hey if we are quick we might be able to get you in on a group chat with Cardi and Kylie so you can dazzle them with this hot take.

can u not

Hey, some of my best friends are bar stools.

You know things have really gone to shit when even the Neutral President is outraged.