Oh, I can't get behind that. Vinegar is an accent. So I'll clarify: I love a heavy sprinkle of malt vinegar and freshly ground salt on piping hot fries - I don't drown them.

No hospital corners? That's just sloppy, Goop. Have a little pride.

Yeah, every text, BAM! ASSHOLE PIC.

You're leaving?! Noooooooooo!

I think he meant Mistresses.

*Ahem* "Missus"

I would have started spamming him with images of literal assholes.

I like it when guys brag about how much money they make, because it let's me know to stay the fuck away from them.

Linking them to their mother's Facebook page works better, if you get that far down the identity route.

He could buy so many of them with $32K!

Lifelong animal rights advocate and vegetarian here saying, YUP. PETA is disgusting, and hates women nearly as much as they love attention.

I've had a roomba for years and love it. Two cats and a dog at one time, no kids. Your floors need to be relatively clear and thin cords (like speaker cords) tucked away somehow so it doesn't get tangled. But it does a good job. I have hardwood floors and thick wool rugs and it works well for us.

Her humor and work ethic were documented beautifully in the must-watch 2010 documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.

At 1:45 is that guy that was married to Olivia Newton John.

limp dicks are pretty tough, hard dicks and balls less so.

Does it, though? : D

without the music the audio would be heavy breathing and a lot of wet slapping.

Mark's penis-washing choir: