whatever popular opinions of teens may be, I looooove listening to my honorary 15 yr old and tragic problems/epic excitements. Today's problems.... NO INVITE YET FOR A HALLOWEEN PARTY. Yes, it's true Halloween is like three months away but SRSLY GUYS.

We're in Bristol and we're outside playing in the hose. Also mud. Also I let them make a summer snowman with cornstarch and shaving cream. What a mess.

it's very humid here near Philly, and even putting on the kettle makes a difference in how humid the house feels.

One of our children is extremely controlling and his list of food won'ts is long. I get so rage beasty when I hear eat or starve. He gets a multivitamin. We do our best to get him to try things. Hopefully someday he'll eat fruit and pizza and whatever.

some people just get really obedient, obliging kids. They're out there. I have one that is like that and one who treats every day/issue/situation like he is William Wallace and I'll never defeat him. It's like those people with naturally bouncy hair, it's out there, but we just didn't get it.

I think they might just smell. I have two and their shoes are ridiculous.

my mom never caught on. I think I'm still jealous.

my sister would only brush the top, leaving a writhing nest underneath.

I know, it is nice to be reminded that we had other priorities once upon a time. Meanwhile I am nursing out four month old and have not showered in two days. Rock on.

IDK but the fumes are bothering me all the way over here.

We had a less than 3% chance of concieving on our own. After our first son was born with help, we knew we could only afford to try once or twice more. Amazingly, I got pregnant on my own. Miraculously, it happened again. However I had a partial abruption at 24 weeks. This happens in 1 % of pregnancies. Amazingly, it…

fucks I have = < fucks previously available

oh helllll no, I am on the hunt!

please see above in a glorious circle of me not giving one fuck about you not comprehending my lack of fucks.

when I was a wee 23 year old, I was in culinary school and arguing with Brosef McBroman about who was right. So I told him that if this was about who had the bigger dick...IT WAS ME. Then he cowered and mumbled bitch and did what I told him to. It was glorious.

I'm done giving a fuck trying to coach bros and ignorant white dudes along with a treat and a smile. They can get with the program or fuck right off.

this seems hard to believe.

I had to stopwatching. All I could think was " pay attention to MY detail" annnnd my eyes teared.

Ahaaaaaaa. My cats poop in the carrier EVERYTIME. It's fabulous.

We had a notebook of salacious love letters that we wrote back and forth. My husband wrote me a new one this week. A. I can't believe we ever had that much sex. B. I'm going to have to burn it or black marker it before death because if our kids see it, I imagine they'd jump out a window shouting NOOOOOOOPPPPEEE.