I prefer “female” to modify a noun — it just sounds more grammatically correct to me — but my editors disagree and changed it.

While Drake might not be all that well liked here, I don’t think it’s fair to call him the nerdier version of a well-documented abhorrent pedophile and sexual predator. Yes Drake is an annoying schlub when it comes to women, but he isn’t marrying teenage girls and creating child pornography.

I wonder how the monogrammed thermos business does around this time.

Also becoming more popular (apparently): Hacking the FB pages of minor political figures. I never knew hackers were so interested in the musings of township committeemen.

She buys groceries?! I assumed her sustenance came from turning her head 180 degrees and eating the face of her partner during copulation.

She seems very lean and sinewy....like wild game. I would suggest steaming would be preferable to roasting.

Jewel’s response is lovely:

The woman who made a career out of saying women shouldn’t have careers.

I offer my condolences to any of the family she had who might have loved her, and my congratulations to anyone who’s suffered under noxious judgment. Farewell Phyllis. You won’t be missed.

Welp...

you should always say something good about the dead: she’s dead, good.

I have a friend who refuses to even go to a salad bar because if he’s paying at a restaurant he wants a chef to tell him what tastes good.

I don’t even like making my own salad at a restaurant let alone a full meal. I am a lazy, lazy toddler with a credit card- just bring me cake and maybe some crayons and I will tip you and leave. No muss, no fuss.

I don’t even know 19 people.

We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

See! Just like that...silent shoulder-shaking lols at my desk!

I could watch, or not watch, Christopher Guest movies for hours. And still find a reason to watch them.