I would marry you but we'd end up fighting over who got this look for the wedding.

I hope the Kinks announce that they will donate the proceeds of their version to charity so people can feel good about downloading that instead.

When did Mike Jeffries start giving Rue 21 "customer service" advice?

Do you hear that sound?

He is honestly the worst actor I've ever seen, so... I'm satisfied.

Great. I hope this movie tanks so that people will finally stop talking about it and the books.

Hahaha, Charlie's face is all 'What, me, have a Red Room? Nah.'

THANKS, OBAMA!

Mine never come out very well either. I'm pretty sure its the lighting.

Me neither. I hate that they're now a "thing" we're all supposed to do.

What? She just really needed caulk.

She told him she was looking for Crackfiller and he misunderstood.

I love Sandy B since Miss Congeniality. Probably the only movie I've seen as many times as Beetlejuice. (Don't judge me.)

I can't get with the tribute. Axl Rose is an abusive piece of shit.

This is the most I've cared about tennis in God knows how long.

As a habitual non-heel-wearer I feel 60% smug and 40% bad for feeling smug.

I love that David always has her on even if she doesn't have anything to promote. She's not exactly mainstream famous and sometimes the audience doesn't 'get' her humour but you can David genuinely finds her hilarious.

Correction: Amy Sedaris is the best worst ANYTHING you'll ever hire.

Love her so hard! Screw Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer is the voice of MY generation!

Piers Morgan + Twerking =