The emoticons in that Katy Perry video seriously need to get the fuck off my lawn.

I only twerk for Jesus

then perhaps they shouldn't have pre-invited icky girls and then disinvited them?

I would send an email showing pics of girls dressed up as superheroes.

Just as an aside - does this strike any one else as weirdly ironic? How often do women have to argue that no, they totally were sex workers instead of the usual 'don't call me a whore because I have sex' argument. This is not shaming and I get why it's happening, I'm just struck by the absurd irony of the situation.

Or you could do like me and avoid the whole thing by not dating at all. Yay for desiccated spinsterhood!

Obama(s) I don't agree with everything you do, but D'AAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Uh, America's Sweethearts role reversal here or WHAT?

As someone who used to work in sales, that salesgirl is an idiot. Not for failing to recognize Oprah, but for totally missing a good sales pitch. If a customer wants to look at something you think they can't afford- show it to them! Tell them about how great the item is, then mention the price. If they say it's too…

True, but it's Taye Diggs so he's allowed to do whatever he wants.

Megyn Kelly might be replacing Sean Hannity's show on Fox News this fall

Everyone else can stop commenting now, Penabler wins today

"...and about 25% of non-white Americans have zero friends outside their own race. "

So i was very happy at the moment of the NOPE puppy and then I saw the puppies who had teacher dogs and teared up. This might be the greatest video on the internet.

This mode of transportation might be female-specific. I'd hate to be a male puppy doing that.

Yup, done this drunk a few times.

I think someone on ONTD summed it up nicely when they said, "He's the only one of the Doctors who looks like he'd know how to fuck you through a wall."

Jeselnik: Sounds like a Russkie knockoff of the late Toastmaster General! (This joke may not be funny to people under 50) (Sadly it may also not be funny to people over 50)

From the witty Zach Weiner at SMBC:

The only reason I disagree with this is because I simply don't think Moffatt would succeed, and I think the blame wouldn't be placed on him, but on the actors/actresses being forced to handle his inability to grow.