I would have to seriously consider converting to Satanism if a baby goat asked me too.

You're not "genuinely curious," you know exactly why. She's a talentless hack, just like Taylor Swift.

Take a breath and consider this: Jezebel writers have celebs they love to pick on. Taylor Swift is their number one voodoo doll to stab in their gossip articles, and she's American as can be.

99 problems, but Miley ain't one.

For a woman actor, there has never been a better time to be alive. Men have always had Shakespeare; now we've got Shonda.

You're so adorable, abusing the Jez writers while misspelling your own rants. That seems hipocritical as well!

"“She’s been around since the ’70s,"..... Mitch McConnell, who said the 2016 Democratic field was like 'a rerun of ‘The Golden Girls.'"

She's just so stupid pretty. Like built in a lab gorgeous. I'm so glad they put her in something cool and sexy, and not the weird bathing suit/cardigan combo from Elle.

I am sure if you had a high school of any half decent size, you had a few (not by choice) geek girls.

Kittens? Kittens aren't judgmental.

(Really, I don't know. If you're hinting at something, I don't think anyone is getting it.)

I see that scene in my head every time I hear "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"

ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINOS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get confident, stupid.

Team Forever Alone high-five!

Doug, I'm going to ask you every single week until you supply the goods...

That's the Southern woman "I'm so disappointed in you" death glare my mother had down cold. Just seeing it on Wendy made me feel like I've to go apologize and clean my room.

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger Marry, Forming Unholy "Music" Alliance

Kerry Washington is a beautiful angel sent from heaven to make all of us better people. I'm sure of it.

Zoe Saldana needs to take notes from Kerry re how to talk about race.

British media is known for its particularly toxic brand of tabloidism, so I assumed it was a reference to that.