I was expecting her to talk about Harriet Tubman not being the ideal person to represent capitalism, and I can understand that...but this...what did she say? I have no idea what she means.

The Asperger’s Society owes you a debt of gratitude for dating him.

Oh, Mr. Franzen - I thought I’d blocked you...

Better or worse than “Ima pound the farts out of you”?

I mean, one of us has to be responsible and it sure as hell isn’t me!

oh my god your honey sounds like mine and I love him for it. god bless the nerds.

Oh yes, indeedy. My daughter, to her credit, has just never brought it up or even sent me side eye. I did follow it up with an “OMG this is why parent’s shouldn’t text” She wrote back that her and her boyfriend had both just fallen off the couch laughing. *counts lucky stars* And can I get out of the greys for this…

That’s... usually what I do to guys. Because I am a mean person. And I also don’t usually feel like sexting. :(

That may be the winner.

Oh the cringyness. Background: We were in negotiations for a 3some. Me, who is a woman, with him the main lover, plus another man. I had the man picked out and the plan was to warm him up to the idea and then have the main lover over. So I typed, to my current lover: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you both…

He’s practical, that one.

This isn’t exactly ‘grim’ but basically this is what hubby and I text each other every day when we’re in different parts of the house:

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

The most interesting pre-date comment I ever got was, “Would you be into pegging me?” (I wasn’t, sadly. But I did go on the date, because why not? He was nice.)

I believe it was. Although it was largely in jest, I thought he was so attractive and great that I turned bright red upon reading it (which is not even remotely the norm for me).

No dice. I would love a little blood sugar sext magik but my partner is a literal dude with an impaired romantic imagination. The few times I’ve tried, with innocuous but hopefully leading messages like “I wish you were in my bed right now,” I get matter of fact responses like “too bad we live so far apart.” :/

Mr. Dr. Yoga Nerd MD got really drunk with his friends in like the first month we were dating and texted me something like “I wanna fuck you in high heel black boots”

THAT GUY WAS THE WORST. He doesn't deserve her raisin balls :(