Adding "your mom" to those is funny.

This time, though, the temptation will be chocolate.

dude, really? crossfit doesn’t mean you gotta try to fit yourself up on a cross, ya know.

To be fair, this whole incident escalated due to a few missed periods.

Save the burns for the crematorium, kids.

That whole obit is a Minnesota euphemism for “she was a feckless cunt”.

That last paragraph deserves a Pulitzer

I do the same...but for the State of Idaho

NFL Can’t Stop Shooting Itself in the Dick

Perfect scene of life in Rome, like it was directed by Felini.

If you consider that overhead a smash, who’s the real pussy here?

I didn’t realize “Oh, the places you’ll go” had another literal meaning.

Sure wish they were this observant (re: suspicious) when deciding to vote for Trump. “Hello, I’d like to report a dainty-handed lech in the park attempting to grab random women’s pussies. Yes; he’s wearing some sort of cotton candy hat.”

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

I often see white parents with obviously adopted black children, I’d call the police but they’d probably arrest the kids.

“Offer her a supply of natural gas and proceed to withdraw it until your demands are met. This is local custom.”

I’m more offended by Trinidad and Tobago’s case study in fucking Americans.

Be real and talk about you in real terms, talk about your faults in a fun way and about your positive points.

He should have stuck with fencing.